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Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Today I'm feeling kind of blah.... kind of uninspired to do anything or even WANT to. This is familiar ground. Time to finish something I've been writing for weeks...

I was talking to a nice young lady the other day (yes, YOU Brittney!) and she let me rant about one of my most passionate subjects – women. It got me to thinking I should finally put down to paper what I've always wanted to say when I made it to Oprah's show

Being a single guy these days, I am constantly amazed at otherwise very smart, very pretty, very together women who make some really awful choices in men. While I understand we all are attracted to this or that, at some point, shouldn't we realize that we are being DESTRUCTIVE to ourselves? Maybe it needs to be pointed out clearly to those who are affected....

If you are seeing someone claims to be an entrepreneur, first ask him to SPELL it, ask to look at his inventory, business plan, and tax returns. If he has NONE, or avoids the subject, ask yourself how this fool will be successful at something he has no clue about. Is he just using the word “entrepreneur” to mean he is “unemployed and not looking for work”???


There is no bigger responsibility to a man than being a good father. Making babies is easy. What's not is loving, caring, raising, nurturing, and being there for both you and your child. Kids need both Mom and Dad to help them be all that they can be. Teach them, show them, be the model to show that it's all worth the effort. It's hard enough to do under the best circumstances.

If you are seeing someone who has children and a dozen excuses for why he doesn't see them or pay for them, or even talks about them, Houston isn't the only one with a problem! His ex probably ISN'T crazy, they are probably NOT out of state, and they are probably HIS!


If you are seeing someone who has a great wiggle-game and nothing else to make you smile, enjoy it for what it is. If you think you want more and he doesn't, it's time to come to grips with reality. What about him do you TRULY like other than Jr? If you can't make a long list (or ANY list!), maybe you should just make a mold of what you DO enjoy, put it on the mantle, and dip out because this won't end happy. If he KNOWS he has you by the..... cookies, and uses it to get what you wouldn't ordinarily give, it's that time....


If you are seeing someone who spends a lot of time with his x-box, golf clubs, or buddies, and it bothers you, say something. Not yelling or screaming, but a nice conversation that will uncover WHY. There has to be a reason. Maybe he likes being away from you. Maybe he likes his buddies better. Maybe he likes his buddies a LOT. Maybe you should come up with a new Plan “A”, because Plan B means he sticks around.....


Not everyone has the money to wine and dine, but seriously, if they can't explain WHY and make it very clear by their actions they are trying to better their situation, you are headed to Broke-Chick Mountain that will drain you of time, energy, and your good credit rating. The price is too high. Sooooooooooo....

If you are seeing someone that never seems to have any money, forgets his wallet, or has a “situation” that causes his INcome to go OUT immediately, check his credit, check your wallet for the $40 that WAS in there, put those nice pointed boots on and......


If you are seeing someone who still has a room at his Mom's, get his mail there, or just keeps his stuff there, it's time for the deadbeat questionnaire to be given. It's not graded on a curve, doesn't have a range of A-F, and should be given at the first hint they would qualify.

Do you have a savings account that you DEPOSIT money into monthly?
Do you have a pay-stub that is current?
Do you have an updated resume?
Do you qualify for credit that is NOT charging 25% interest?
Do you have a suit that YOU bought?
Do you have friends that expect to be paid back when you “hold $20”?

Proper documentation is required for any “yes” answer. Failure to produce said documents or provide proof that validates the “yes” is grounds for immediate dismissal. With that being said, you know what you have to do....


IF you are seeing someone who is always telling you how to spend your money, ask for his credentials. He obviously is a Certified Financial Planner and has a record of his past performance at investing. While that is not a guarantee of future earnings, it should give you peace of mind knowing that this isn't just a broke-ass-man trying to get you to spend money on HIM. If he failed to keep his designation current, he ALSO should fail to give you his financial advice, which isn't worth what you paid for it. If he didn't take the hint and continues to play Warren Buffet, there's only one thing left to do....


If you are seeing someone who stays at your house more than his and doesn't pay any bills, wash any dish, clean any room, or do any laundry, consider the past as community service. Nothing can be done about it except learn and adapt. This does NOT mean to continue the Hotel 6 treatment no charge! Time for new management! Either get his help with the work involved to maintain a neat and clean place that keeps the rain off your heads or ….


If you are seeing someone who wants to change you, complains about you, or just generally doesn't seem to be happy with you as you are, ask yourself if he is right. If he IS right, what are you doing about it? If, on the other hand, you feel like he is making the wrong assessment of you and your ways, have a calm discussion of why he feels the way he does. None of us is perfect. Maybe there is something to it. Don't get mad at what is said, don't get defensive, don't lash back at him. Take it all in. If it makes sense and you WANT to change, problem solved. If he is just plain wrong, doesn't have any facts to back up his arguments, or doesn't even want to talk about it, don't even warm up.....


If you are seeing someone who follows your every move, doesn't trust what you say, accuses you of sleeping around, and gets offended if you do the same to HIM, well you already know.... without trust that binds two people together, without faith in your special someone that they will not do anything that will hurt, without the peace of mind that comes with knowing your one-and-only is not grazing in someone else's field, there can be no happily-ever-after. If he is convinced one of you is not being faithful, he is right.... it's probably HIM. In that case, there is only one option left... yup....


If you are seeing someone who has the superpower of being temporarily invisible, who is regularly unreachable, and who goes MIA like clockwork, your alarm is going off.... WAKE UP! It's not a dream but WILL be a nightmare if you let it go. His phone is NEVER dead, he is NEVER in a “bad cell area”, he NEVER forgets the plans you made with him, and he NEVER has to go out of town for a multitude of reasons. He's just not feeling you. You are not his boo. If anyone asks, he probably says he is single. He just lacks the courage to tell you. Please help this spineless bastard take your relationship to the next (and final) level...


If you are seeing someone who drinks daily and it changes his mood or personality, get a AA brochure and leave it on the table as you RUN out the door! While it's nice, at times to have a glass of wine or have a cold beer on a hot night. Regular doses of alcohol will not cure any known diseases or fix any problems. As a matter of fact, drinking WILL make problems worse and bring on health problems because they have “just one more”. You can be supportive, helping them overcome this battle, but unless they truly WANT to change their life, you will not only be unsuccessful, it will wear you out. If all else fails, one thing WILL work for you....


If you have a child (or three) with someone that has some (hopefully not all!) of these traits, and you feel trapped by the situation, have faith. Family, friends, and organizations are there to help. There are always options in life, we just may not like the cost. Yes we may have to work harder, not go on as nice of a vacation, live in a smaller house, or drive an older car. All that is nothing compared to being truly happy with your life and your mate. Being truly happy begins with our view of ourselves. If you don't love you some you, what are you doing about it? Do you not like something about yourself? Great. Welcome to the real world. We ALL have things to work on. Even J-Lo has issues. No one is immune. It's realizing what needs tweaked and taking action that matters. We all fall short of the expectations we make for ourselves. It's not a bad thing. We need to have goals to shoot for. It's the crippling punishment we put on us that doesn't have to happen. Make an effort to change and see progress. It won't happen overnight. It won't even happen as fast as we want. But it will happen if you want it bad enough to do what it takes. If you don't then you better accept the results and move on.

You ladies don't realize that you have the power to change the world.


Guys will do whatever it takes to get your attention. We will work out to catch your eye, wear nice clothes so you take notice, drive a nice car to impress, bathe enough to keep the funk off, approach you when we are terrified at what you might say, give you flowers just because, even get great jobs so we can buy you nicer things.

YOU are what we want more than anything. More than a high score on X-box. More than season tickets to the Packers. More than new power tools, More than winning the March Madness brackets, more than our 55 inch TV (well... maybe), more than all the other girls in our past, more than money, fame, or bigger feet. More than anything.

We will do whatever you LET US DO. If that means we can get fat and lazy, we will. If that means we can treat you like an old dishrag, we will. If that means we can disregard what you say or think, we will. If that means we don't have to commit our love to you, we won't. If that means we can have another girl or ten on the side, we will. If that means we can wear our pants down our butt and show you the draws we have under them, we (unfortunately) will. If we don't have to brush our teeth or even bath occasionally, we won't.

So why do you accept mediocrity? When you do, you will be guaranteed to get it! It's time to reset the bar. It's time to expect more from guys. Start today. Don't settle for “good enough”. You CAN get that person in your life who will make it all seem like a dream. Someone who will add to your already good life, bring something more than a pretty face or a wallet. Someone who will help with the house and the kids. Someone who loves you enough to let you have some time without him, just because. Someone who will be supportive of who you are, what you do, and what you want for the future. Someone who will be a caring and compassionate lover and your best friend. Someone who thinks you are the reason he is the luckiest guy in the world. He has YOU.

If you are seeing someone who does not do all of this and more, don't try and explain the why's and what's. Don't make excuses. Don't think life is not fair. Don't stay for the kids. Don't say “soon” or “later”. If you don't change your life now, you may as well get comfortable and know things will only get worse.

You say you don't know how? It's easy. Just.....

KICK HIM TO THE CURB! Registered & Protected

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