Maybe I just don't get it, but it seems REALLY dumb.
If there is one thing that teaches us how a person reacts to situations, it is a break-up. Evil people will show their evilness in moments like that. They may have been OK all along, but back them up against the wall, their true colors finally show. In this instance, if the relationship was OK and nothing awful was revealed, WHY THE HECK NOT go out? Just because someone you KNOW was involved?
You have experience with how they reacted being with someone, maybe you even know their background – both good and bad! You don't have to sit through the interview process, have that awkward first couple conversations or dates, or even wonder if they are in the witness protection program!
It seems better than a friend fixing you up with someone they know. To me, they are saying “I wouldn't date him/her but she's good enough for YOU”. (Married or unsingle people excluded of course!)
We ALL have a history and a past. Some of it is known, some not. For each of us, the level we are comfortable with is different. The reality is, the more we know, the better decision can be made. If you thought that he/she was a creep or worse, you would probably want to scar them for life, but what if they were two good people who just didn't work out? What if no one did anything wrong but they realized they just weren't “forever”? What if?
Seems dating is hard enough without excluding MORE people! Bad timing shouldn't be a screening tool!
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had someone say....
ReplyDeleteWhy normal people don't date people a family member has already dated!
1. That is some grimy shit people who don't give a crap about anyone but themselves do!
2. Where I come from, we don't do that out of RESPECT FOR THE FAMILY MEMBER!
3.Perhaps the person is so full of themselves that they just don't realize what a complete jerk they really were In the relationship so why would someone want to subject their family member to the same thing that the family member was probably already told that the jerk did in the first place, seems mighty asinine to me.
4.Lastly but certainly not least, dating a family member of someone you've already dated not only puts both family members in an awkward position, let's say at Thanksgiving dinner or some other family function, it just clearly shows how truly selfish the wannabe dater is. I think perhaps talking to a therapist might help in situations like this where unrealized selfishness could be a problem not only in daily interactions with people but ESPECIALLY IN RELATIONSHIPS! Why don't we ponder past relationships for awhile, it may give some insight as to what to do the NEXT time someone good comes into your life.
yet another comment...
ReplyDeleteA tough topic..i admire that you even tackled that one. Well i have a bit of personal experience with that one...although generally i think people should consider the past relationship history...was there abuse involved..a marriage...kids involved. My exhusband who i spent 23 yrs with dated a good friend of .mine and i was bothered by it. It was tough on my kids...confusing for me because i wondered did anything go on during the marriage ... So its hard to say. A casual short relationship...sure id date a friends ex.