Ciera... The Conclusion

She's back from Florida and I couldn't wait to see her. Before she left she made me think we might be able to go out sometime and I was excited for a change. I wondered if she had any thoughts pop into her head....

When I saw her at the store, it was like the first time all over again. Even though she was a bit under the weather, she was gorgeous. My thoughts were all over the place, so when I got in line to check out, all I could do was babble. Funny, but that must have been OK because she said she would call me later!

And she did.... amazing.

Now I'm not saying most women don't do what they say.... wait a minute - that's EXACTLY what I'm saying! Obviously this was surprise. We talked a bit and made a date for a walk in the park. No I'm not cheap - just corny and broke!

Anyway, time blurs and all of a sudden we are walking around a lake at some park I never heard of, and it is a slice of heaven. She is talking and it takes just a few minutes to realize this is NOT the usual first date. We feel each other and know we have that connection we all hope for but rarely get. It seems we've known each other for a while and there is nothing but smiles and laughter.

That was the start and it just got better and better as the days turned into weeks. We saw more and more of each other and it was very clear we were headed down a path that both of us never expected. She showed me new music, she always brought a joy with her that made my day bright, and she stayed captivating. She and I had an understanding from the very first day that we were not exclusive and weren't looking for that at all.

It only took a few weeks to change all that.

She made me feel whole again. The sun was brighter, the sky was bluer and my life was starting to have a pulse for the first time in years. How could this 21 year old woman do all this to me? How could my dark days be wiped away so quickly and completely? Life is like a flapjack - you can have a nicely done side but turn it over and the other might be a burned mess. Was this for real???

It was....

The girl who could never say "I Love You" said it and meant it. The girl who didn't want anyone now wanted me. Her best friend noticed the change and loved it. She couldn't hide it and neither could I. I wanted the world to know and... I guess I let MY world know, because after we were engaged I introduced her to everyone who meant something to me. Of course she won them over. I'm sure they wondered why she would want to be around ME but they at least kept it to themselves.

I was so proud...

The weeks went by and life was good. We got to spend a lot of time together. She showed me some cooking secrets and I .... well I MUST have done SOMETHING good, she stayed around!

Unfortunately, it became increasingly obvious that her religion was going to stand in the way of us being truly together. I won't say how I REALLY feel, but I am so happy that she was in my life, for the time we had was glorious.

She made me see that I was the good guy I tried to be, the guy who can love and be loved, the guy who can realize that sometimes things don't work out like we want.

I've accepted it and am happy to be among the living once again....