unsolicited advice for women

Advice for women

I had a reminder of why I took a year off from dating...

Had a friend I've known for years. She has picked the wrong guy many times and I was hoping someday she would pick me.

Haven't spoken for a while, and turns out she's on Facebook. We do a quick catch-up and we think about getting together for dinner or something. She's busy but seems to want to make time.

She mentions that the weekend is not good but that the following week was possible. I wait a few days to get a bit closer to that time, then I ask about it.

This is what she wrote;

WOW!! I'mm just a really busy person right now. I got I mid terms coming up, I about to start a new job in tysons and I neva have a babysitter. I neva have time to just go out. Maybe this isn't sucha good idea after all........

I wrote: jeeze... you make it sound like I'll add to your misery! That's not the point you know.... You need some "YOU" time somewhere... why not with me every now and then? I'm not asking for every day.... I would love to see you but not if you think it's a negative

She wrote back: ok.....I am busy. Its rare that I have time to go out let alone time for just MYSELF and I don't think you get that. Thats on reason why I'm not in a relationship now is bcuz I don't have time. At least not the you want me to have. Its not that simple for me!!!! So before I lead you on or to eliminate the games I don't think that we should go out. I'm gonna put what I have to do FIRST before anything. Sorry

Let’s be honest here. If Gerard Butler or Jamie Foxx was asking, her heart would go pitter patter, she would get a sitter, change schedules, get her hair and nails done, buy a new outfit, even wear new undies I’m sure!

Now, here's the advice part of this....

If you don't want to go out, don't pretend like you do!

Ladies, you make us guys do the pursuing so don't be surprised if we do! Don't give hints, don't give signs, don't send smoke signals.... Be honest and TELL US!

Yes, I know there are some dumb butts who won't take no for an answer. That's what protection orders are for! For the rest if us, we just want to know where we stand.

And another thing.... Going out doesn't mean "go to bed" or "get engaged" or "happily ever after". It means we are getting to know you and are finding out if we can stand each other for more than a few minutes at a time.

I called one of my best friends right after getting this email and had an expletive laden, loud and passionate rant about this very subject. It was not because of my disappointment of this particular young lady. I doubt It would have led to anything anyway. It just sparked a frustration that has been there for decades.

Does it HAVE to be so hard to meet someone who you want to spend time with?????

Nope, but it is......