Friday, January 11, 2013
It seemed everywhere I turned lead to a death notice and had me wondering how the family dealt with the passing, if anyone truly missed them, or if the loss was even important. I guess it is more a product of my situation than anything else. Being single, few really close friends, no kids, and not a tight family brings a different sort of existence than a lot of folks know.
While I like the solitude of being alone and the freedom and carefree-ish ways I've chosen, it brings to mind another sobering thought at times – when I finally leave this earth, will it be better than when I first arrived? Without a child to carry on my ideals, what have I done to contribute to the world? What have I done to personally bring a little bit of joy to someone? What will people think when they hear I passed? Will it be a smile or “good riddance”? Will I just fade into the masses or is THAT irrelevant? My impression is, if I was scooped up by space-aliens tonight and never seen by another human being again, there would be a very small handful of folks that would question what happened, but that would pass quickly. Life is too busy to be worrying about someone that isn't around...
I don't dwell on being remembered or celebrated after I am gone. While I have no idea exactly what folks think about me, I live my life in a compassionate, respectful, and direct way. I have no specific desire to achieve a certain image, yet know there IS one. How important is it to YOU? Are you doing anything to affect that impression you have from others?
What if I admitted that people describe you as self-absorbed, you dress awful, or you lack social skills, or worse, you smell bad? How would you react? What image do you WANT? A master who rules his kingdom with fear and intimidation? A kind and compassionate person who lets everyone use them? The clown? The teacher?
Have you ever asked?
I tried and believe me, people are NOT as forthcoming as you might think. At least that's how I took it. I know I am far from perfect. Far from less-than-perfect actually. Getting someone to admit that is difficult because no one wants to hurt your feelings. Maybe I am not as close to some people as I thought because, I would hope the best of my friends would tell me if I was acting like a knucklehead or that they were proud to be my friend.
Try it only if you are prepared to be confronted with an image you may not like or are willing to accept. And don't get MAD! Remember, this is someone else's idea of who you are and they do not have the luxury of reading your mind or knowing your intentions. They only have your ACTIONS to go by, so who is MORE accurate???
You may be surprised what you find out...