GOING AWAY

I have family that is going through a terminal illness. The battle has been going on for a while and thought to be winning. Very recently, it has turned for the worse. The VERY worse. I was thinking about it from both sides – the victim of this awful disease and those close who have a front row seat to the effects and troubling idea of the coming loss...

I came up with this:


ON YOUR OWN

The words still loud on my mind
How could this be?
I've done all I can to be rid of this bug
Why now? Why me?

The cancer is spreading beyond control
counting the weeks
until I am free of the pain and sickness
I couldn't beat

The questions stop as I look back
to a life so full
A loving wife, a son I can be proud
It's not so cruel

To have a date to look towards
a gift, I know
To say goodbye and have my peace
not afraid to show

How much I care for those close to me
forgive those, not
and appreciate the joy of living
and things I got

Not the cars or the house, toys or cash
but, memories
Of years gone by, celebrations
...anniversaries

Moments that make me smile through the day
special times, special souls
They gave me purpose and strength to go
beyond my roles

Husband, father, good friend to many,
Businessman...
The titles don't define, yet they are ME
Not the plan

To be leaving so soon, with much undone
but as I do
My hope is, all I've done is enough to know
the man you knew

The man who loves you, here and beyond
the man assured
You will do fine with me by your side
unseen, not ignored

Don't doubt I am there, helping where I can
and when you need
Always there, you'll feel my spirit next to you
when you succeed

And when you don't, I'll still be there
even when you've known
That you can do this thing called life
all on your own

The OTHER side....



ON MY OWN


This can't be happening
Not to my Dad
The world is a better place
with him in it

I can't imagine him not here
He always was
It's not fair for this to happen
to a good man

A great Dad to me
A better-half to Mom
He's the best part of us
What happens next?

How will I enjoy another day
without his laugh?
How will I be a great father
on my own?

When he won't be there
to help or even see
the kids that would be
GRAND to him

Will the tears ever stop?
Will the heart feel again?
Can I really be the man
he taught me to be?

I'm not ready, not yet
I need more time
To know how this man
made me proud to be his son

I can't say goodbye
I can't just let go
But it's out of my hands
He's moving on

And showing me again
how to be a man
in the face of darkness
he's the light that shines

The man I want to be
The man I need to be
To know this man
can be proud....

I am his son