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Monday, October 6, 2014


There are many forms of disappointment. A bad ending to a movie, the first bite of an awful meal, losing the lottery once again, or finding out you weren't your dog's best friend are all examples. They may not change the course of history, or even be memorable for more than a few days, but there was an expectation that, for whatever reason, was not met. Then there is a far different kind – the one involving people you know and respect.

I was reminded of a time when a young lady I knew, we will call her Lilly, though this is NOT her name. When we first met at work, she was an impressive and outgoing person whom I couldn't imagine being anything but successful. She was easy to talk to, had opinions she expressed, and had overcome adversity in her life.

Sometimes, we make choices in our lives that linger for minutes, days, or decades. Lilly had unfortunately, been a part of a really bad situation that resulted in a felony being part of her record. She had since turned herself around and knew she made a terrible set of decisions. If given the chance, she would, of course have done things differently, but since she wasn't a celebrity or real-life isn't the movies, the effects of the past have haunted her in finding work.

Despite this 20-year ongoing curse, she was a positive free-spirit that was fun to be around. It didn't hurt that she was attractive and had the build of a runway model. We had a very nice conversation the first day we met and stayed friends after. I think we would have gone out on a date if she wouldn't have that one thing that is hard to accept in a budding relationship – a boyfriend!

This is nothing new for us single people. We meet folks all the time that are possible dates or mates, except that fact they already have their social calendar filled with anyone else BUT you. There are moments when we feel EVERYONE has someone, but deep down, we know better. There are many, many folks who are in search for their own special someone and eventually will find a good match. It just takes patience and a bit of clarity. And maybe a subscription to


Lilly worked at the same place as I did for a few months, then for reasons beyond her control, she was let go. I fought hard for her but the powers-that-be would not budge. When she left, I tried to stay in touch, but things being what they were, we did the typical fade – the one where days of not reaching out turn into weeks which turn into months. It takes two people who care for each other to make enough effort to remain close, and we obviously didn't have that.

Well, I got quite a surprise one day, and who was it but L:illy calling! I was thrilled and excited when she said she was single now! ALLLLLRRRIIIGGGHHHTTTT!

Things were looking up!

…. or maybe not so much.

She had told me of her change in relationship status, but it was a frustrating few weeks to finally get together. One thing or another came up to keep us from meeting, but I stayed patient and looked forward to our ultimately spending some time alone. This was going to be fun.

She finally let me know that we could meet up one Friday night, but I wasn't going to be giddy because of our past episodes that didn't work out. Time would tell if I would actually see her smiling face...

Turns out this was one of the shocking days, in more ways than one. I got the address to pick her up and wondered what she felt like doing. She was a little drunked up, since she admitted to having more than a few glasses of wine during the day. She wasn't driving, so I didn't think anything of it. Whatever made her relax and not be nervous about anything was good to me.

When she got into the car, she showed me a side of her I had no clue about. The loud, happy, high woman in the passenger seat was nothing like the lady I thought I was picking up. She went from happy to see me to angry about it, like someone with an alter-ego. I am a very naïve person when it comes to this, as I had very little experience with that sort of thing.

The females I am attracted to have a strong personality and confidence that doesn't allow this type of behavior. One of the reasons I am attracted to who I am attracted to is the few issues these ladies bring to the table. They have problems like anyone, but they handle it and move on. That's sexy to me.

Back to Lilly, she had now progressed from happy to angry, to horny and excited. Uh oh....

Let's just say that if I wasn't the level-headed, laid-back guy that I am, we would have caused a crash for sure. Her hands were all over me, and she was saying things that were not only surprising, they were very clear in their intentions – we were going to have hot and steamy sex that would alter my image of her forever. If only she knew my image of her!!!

Being a single guy at the time, I was ready for some good fortune in the romance department, as it had been a while since I could even spell “good fortune”. It wouldn't take long before reality would again rear it's ugly head..... delusions were erased and revealed the true motivation of someone I thought had finally seen me in a different light.

She expected to be paid.


I'm not judging those that are ok with exchanging some dollars for some adult fun – that's just not me. It's not a morals issue, but one of a deeper meaning.

I'm a world-class cornball. There may be a lot of definitions but just so we are clear, mine is “one who acts overly sentimental”. It's enough that I don't even enjoy a massage from a stranger because I dislike the idea of paying for pleasure from another human being. An amateur that CARES about me has a better touch than any masseuse with a degree in masseussing.

When the thought of sex comes up, I am just like anyone that looks forward to spending time with someone special. Special enough to experience THAT with. It's usually a very good, memorable, and erotic time. Not when CASH is involved!

You may as well have beamed in my dead Grandparents to watch. It wasn't going to happen. This woman, whom I thought of as elegant, strong, and interesting, completely destroyed the image I had. When I told her I held her up on a pedestal, she told me I had to change that idea immediately. I guess so....

The ride back to her place was uneventful. Maybe because in the drive that revealed this stranger, we ended up close to my house. This was an area she wasn't familiar. When she started to get belligerent and claimed she could walk home since I wasn't going to pay up, I let her. She got out and I drove off.

I don't know how long it took for her to realize she didn't know where she was or which direction home was, but she called me repeatedly soon after. I didn't answer since she was so despicable to me before she made the decision to leave. After a dozen or so attempts, she gave up. I figured she must have gotten a ride or found a new friend.

Of course the “good” Tom answered the next call from her and she admitted to needing a ride. When I picked her up, she stated she was never so scared. I told her that there are very bad people in the world and she better be careful about what she says or does. Things could have ended very badly for her with the wrong person.

She didn't speak much after that, except that, as she got out, she said in her most evil voice, “Don't EVER call me again!” Uhhhhh..... ok.

I'm not sure what kind of people she hangs out with, but there was NOTHING that happened that night which would inspire me to relive it again, even if I had a coupon for a free tumble. It wasn't like I imagined, many, many times...I only hope she got it together and life is far different for her today.

How disappointing!

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