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Sunday, January 10, 2016


A very good friend wrote this morning -

"Okay, I just gonna come out and say it. I hate sexual self satisfaction because it doesn't satisfy at all. It's boring, not fun, and yeah it gets you past the moment, yet leaves you only angry about how boring and lonely life is. I think you should write on that."


Before you judge her, know she is a dynamic, funny, confident, and attractive young lady who doesn't just sit around chanting "woe is me" all day, staring at the wall while she eats another tub of Ben n Jerry's. Nope.She's a DOER. And she has a point.

Some religions and some that CALL themselves religions are FOR it, some are violently opposed to it, but most ignore the subject entirely. It's interesting that it is one of the common traits of people, no matter what race you are, country of origin, or moral center. Many, many folks are participating, so I would say that is the official stamp of approval.

Pulling in to the self-service lane is a last resort, short of just saying "no". We are sexual beings. Sex is a natural drive built into all of us. How we go about filling that desire is different for each person.

Some act out. They may get an urge, make a call or two, and if they chose properly, that urge is satiated. Easy. As usual, "easy" doesn't always mean it's good for you. While the yearning is satisfied, the mental sparring match has just begun... Happy vs Hollow. It's like being a Bengals fan - great to make the payoffs but losing is all but guaranteed so how good is the feeling? Same with the folks bothered after their friend leaves. It can be frustrating. I know. I been there myself!

The reason for the "hollow" feeling is the reminder of how alone you REALLY are. OK. For a few moments you have someone I hope you at least LIKE sharing some intimacy, but once they are gone, life is back to where it started. Not that enjoying your solitude is bad, but we all need the touch of a human being in our lives. I'll agree not EVERYONE feels less than stellar in moments like that, but a vast number of people do and it will eventually change them from the sexual free spirit they are to something else in time.

Then there are the people who place their cravings in their own hands and relieve the pressure that has built up. For some, this is a perfectly acceptable substitute for the real thing. These folks are usually the ones who want more than a bang bang. They want to be touched ONLY by someone very special who feels the same towards them. They will satisfy each other and no other. Until they have that situation in their lives, self-satisfaction is the way to go.

There are still others that treat manual manipulation as a vacation. They walk thru this door and can experience any fantasy the mood allows. It may or may not involve visual aids, but their destination isn't reality - it is a dream come true in their imagination. There may be less disappointment because it is all based on a vision, a desire, or a curiosity. Like a vacation, we all have to return to work on Monday, so that is always in the back of our minds. Post-vacation blahs aside, they are very sexual and sensual individuals that enjoy their time away.

I'm sure there are many sub-categories not listed above but the bulk of the people I know fit into one or the other.  Whichever YOU tend towards, these days there is a much different view on it than when I was younger. You weren't "manly" if you admitted to doing what most guys did behind closed doors (until Mom accidentally opened it!). Nowadays, we live in a much more open society where people fulfill their fantasies on a daily basis. Time will tell if it's healthy or a prelude to something more destructive.

I think when we are in the midst of a sexual arousal, we might tend to do things we may regret later. if that is the case, pleasing oneself could be considered medicinal, even if NOT prescribed by a physician. As long as it doesn't become an addiction, where's the harm?

care to share YOUR thoughts???

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