PARENTING

this was inspired by a young lady who, after hearing a few stories and thoughts, my first reaction is that her parents get an A+++++++ 

The question then came to mind, "How many kids got as good of a start as this student?" She was down-to-earth, smart, thoughtful, deep-thinking, and compassionate. 

Once again, I will talk about parenting. No, I am NOT, at this time, lucky enough to actually BE a Father, but I WAS a child, and that counts!!! [HERE] are the other postings on the same topic. How is THIS one different? 

I saw in another person, the results of something I didn't experience. Since I had no point of reference, I couldn't relate to a child that got what I didn't. What was so special about this stranger?

She recognized the gifts that are her Mom and Dad. They are far different from each other, so she gets a unique perspective. A duality that few can appreciate. Her Dad is the thinker. He gave her much of the personality she carries with her. He showed her the world. He didn't hide their good fortune and comfortable life compared to others who struggle to live another day. 

Was Mom just background?  Of course not! She was the cheerleader! The bubbly and outgoing pretty girl that disguises the diva within. There is no doubt in my mind that having both in her life helped her to form the well-grounded young lady I was lucky enough to talk to for a few hours. 

This encounter really made me think about what is truly important for a child's development. Of course, love and affection go a long way to creating a happy home. Without it, no pile of money or lavish gifts at Christmas can overcome the emptiness in the child's heart. 

So..... what else?

I'm beginning to believe that seeing the world, or at least a part of it, would educate a child more than an added class in the school year. I'm not talking about a beach or tourist spot. I am specifically thinking of a land where the people are on a different social status. They may have more or less, but showing the difference up close and personal will give a youngster perspective that will last a lifetime. We can all appreciate this country more if we leave it occasionally and visit a far away land. 

I also firmly believe that SHOWING your kid a GOOD, COMPASSIONATE, and FLAWED Mom and Dad will help in their growth. It's quite hard to walk the walk. There have been so many times I witnessed a situation that a youth was being told not to do something that he is seeing other people in the house do every day. What kind of message is that? Ineffective. 

When Jr sees Dad make a mistake, and react in a positive and open-minded way, he will be more likely not be as embarrassed to make a mistake on his own, and deal with it like his Father. Plus, it's a happier way to live...right? 

Compassion is one of the hardest to show. We live in a ME ME ME world and the idea that another person means much is not a common thought. I'm convinced this absense is part of what drives the hate and anger we see daily on the news. Show a kid you think about others and there's a better chance he or she will become more thoughtful. 

Not surprisingly, education is important to a lot of families that send their kids to college. This in itself doesn't mean much, but the idea that we need to learn is an important trait to a successful upbringing. Humanity and the environment we live in constantly changes so we need to be able to adapt with it. 

Dealing with challenges can reveal the shortcomings in all of us. Stress and confusion will make us follow a bad decision or make a wrong choice. Recognizing and correcting these are important for a child to see and be involved in. They should learn how to make an INFORMED decision and stand by the results. Even if they didn't go as expected. 

Finding something your offspring is good at can be like finding that lost sock in the dryer. Not everyone has a gift at a young age. I don't think we need to be GREAT to be supported and encouraged though. It could be something as simple as a kind word to a stranger, or helping without being asked. The fact you recognize and validate is enough to make us feel pretty good about ourselves. Growing up, we NEED that more than at any other time in our lives. 

I could go on and on, but I know this isn't an easy thing to do in reality. If it was, there would be more well-adjusted men and women out there changing the world. As it is, kids are sometimes handicapped by their upbringing. The strong ones persevere. The less-strong sometimes wilt under the stress. There's no question which child we all want to call our own. The only question is, are you doing enough to increase the chances for your child's success. 

Are you?