FRIENDS IN ALL PLACES

Today, something strange occurred to me that made me think a little bit more about my life. 

I shared something that was very personal, and very recent. Though just words, they had a recuperative affect on me. At least a little bit. 

That wasn't the strange part. 

What made me react was that, the writer in me shares a LOT of personal feelings and experiences. Some would say, too much. It's easy when I think telling a story may help someone through their own difficulties. 

But I DO withhold more than anyone can imagine. 

But not in the situation above, where I question if there is a single soul that it matters to. I shared with only ONE person other than whom I originally wrote it for. It made me wonder...

Who are my friends? 

I have a lot of people I call "friend", but no one I would think of sharing this particular item with. I guess there are different levels of friendship. Let me see if I can make any sense of this....

Friend - Level 1

Someone you know enough that you each recognize by face at the store, sometimes by name. You don't have each other's number, or email. Are they REALLY a "friend"? I think not. Refile under "acquaintance". 

Friend - Level 1 (Literally hundreds)

Someone you know enough that you have each other's email. You may have never met, but are in touch regularly, either through Facebook or another website. You probably don't live nearby, but if you are in the area, you could stop by and shoot the breeze. 

Friend - Level 2 (dozens)

Someone you have their phone number and they yours. You may not call regularly, and neither do they, but there must have been a time you did... or not. 

Friend - Level 3 (less than 10)

Someone who knows your house because they visited. You know theirs. How often do you go? Christmas? Birthdays? I'm guessing it's not much more than that. 

Friend - Level 4 (I can count on one hand, even if I amputated a few fingers)

Someone who is part of the family. They come over anytime, you stop over for no reason, it's not just about sending cards in the mail. They know family members. They even like your dog. 

Friends - Level 5 

Someone you know inside out, good and bad, and you are still best buddies. You may or may not have a long history, but there is nothing you wouldn't do for them or they for you. In an emergency, they are the ones you call. You like them even more than most family members. Maybe a lot more. 

All of a sudden, I don't feel as lonely. I have friends in every category. I can visit many states and stop at someone's house and not be met with a rifle out the front window. I actually HAVE done this and enjoyed putting a human to the little pictures on my computer screen. 

Obviously, I have changed my opinion of defining a friend since I started writing. I used to only count the top two levels and those left over were something else. 

Do I have as many friends at the top level as I think I should? Not even close. I think I am a good guy. I don't insult anyone, I help when I can, and am respectful in every way. Shouldn't anyone who has decades of building this list, have more at Level 4 or 5 than anywhere else? It is a topic I wrote about before [here]. Varying degrees of success/failure later, I am pretty much in the same boat. 

At least it's not sinking...