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Sunday, February 14, 2016

VALENTINES DAY

I've been writing here for almost 7 years and have never once written about THIS holiday. It wasn't because I feel some sort of way about it, although I have very few GOOD memories (The BEST memory was talked about [here]. It isn't because I am sooooooo into it that I can't do it justice, although I really think it's just an OK day. It isn't because I am not a fan of love, because if you have read ANYTHING here, you would know....

Most of the last 20 years have been spent single. This day when you have no significant other CAN be quite a downer. It reminds you of something that may be a sore spot already. There are good days being single though and the hope is that Feb 14th will land on one of THEM! There are, of course, not-so-good ones too.

I used to be one of the sad souls that hated being alone. Insecurity and unhappiness ruled the days back then. I saw couples everywhere I went. At the stores, movies, restaurants, even the neighborhood was overflowing with folks NOT single. It was this way for decades till I finally figured out that being HAPPY was much more fun than being UNhappy. Sounds easy but if you ask most people, we all have gone through it. It just takes some of us longer than others. I wrote about finding my happy place [here] under the "Eternal Soul" section.

For someone to be truly accepting being alone, they have to feel good about themselves. Not just "I look cute" in the mirror, but a deep, profound analysis of who you are. No one is perfect and some people mistakenly think there is another human being that "completes" them. There is no completion that needs to take place if you are cool with you.

There may be a person who makes your life richer, makes the good times gooder and the bad times shorter. There may be a better-half, a suitor, a paramour, a partner, a companion, a boo, a bae, a baby, or special someone that makes you be the best you imaginable. The key is, to NOT have to sacrifice who YOU are when with your mate. If there is too many issues (talked about [here]) or there is a major deal-breaker, you are MUCH better off alone! I know some of you are saying, "He don't KNOW me!" and you are right. I was the WORST version of all that and I learned. If I can be happy in solitary confinement, ANYONE can, trust me on this.

If you ARE happy, enjoy it. If you AREN'T and will not lift a finger to DO anything about it, you are sentenced to a lifetime of exactly what you are feeling now. It isn't natural, preferable, or necessary at all. You CAN find joy in "alone". You CAN overcome the lows of losing someone special and not finding a new version. You CAN be the happy person you imagine yourself to be, but YOU are the only one that has the cure. If you haven't figured out HOW, maybe you will find an answer [here].

Step one is to get off the couch....


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