COMING HOME

Mom and I spent the last couple weeks travelling and just got back to Middletown the other night.

You never know how you feel about a place until you leave it. I have left a few times, relocating for work to Philadelphia, relocating to San Antonio for sanity, and once taking a seven week trip to Germany to meet relatives and tour parts of central Europe. Each time, the town was always a welcome visit. A few years ago, it became home again. Being away, even for a short time, makes me miss Main Street, Union Street, and of course, J&J's strombolis! 

This adventure began with a trip to Missouri that was fruitful and was redirected to the Tupelo, Mississippi area. For those up on your Elvis trivia, you know that is his birthplace, and is just ONE of many places to channel your inner EP. The Tupelo Hardware store, Car Museum, and talking with locals provides an insight to the man we all saw on the TV or movie theater. As my classmates would tell you, Elvis was someone I looked up to all my younger years, so this was one of my bucket-list trips come true. Mom is also a fan, although she doesn't recall much except he was entertaining and a general good guy. She tolerated my obsession because she knew there was another drive to another place that she will truly enjoy. On THIS drive, she would get all the scenery she wanted! 3300 miles of it. Part of that total came when we went to the most popular destination in the state of Tennessee.... Graceland.

Elvis bought this now-famous house back in the 50's and never strayed far. You can see the height of decorating in the late 1970's, his many many awards, many, many jumpsuits worn in concert, and his final resting place. On THIS day, a thunderstorm came through just as we were leaving. I wanted to wait it out, but Mom said "Let's Go!" and we beat the downpour. There is a reason why so many folks make the trip to Memphis, and this homestead is the biggest reason why. Elvis is still beloved after all these years and it is cool to see even the kids enjoying his music and movies.

On to Florida we went, as one of my best friends has been patiently waiting years for me to come down. Leo has two young kids and a fantastic wife that made us feel like family as soon as we walked in to their home. Having children around was something Mom hasn't had in decades, unless you include ME! She REALLY enjoyed their excitement and laughter, reminding me that this is the same woman who didn't do that all too often before her head injury. We saw some sights in West Palm Beach, from an alligator in the swamp, time on the beach, to the Flagler Mansion, she took it all in, always asking what was next.  If it was up to HER, we would still be there!

After being away from Middletown for two weeks, I was more than ready to return. It doesn't sound like much. Two weeks? Would you miss the sights, sounds, and smells of home while being distracted with new sights? I did this time, and I did before, when we went on a 7-week trip to Germany 30 years ago. I wanted to kiss the ground when we crossed into Raider country! In my many years of living away, home always was here. It isn't on Forbes list of greatest places to live. It isn't recognized even by it's own citizens as ideal, but we are trying to get back to the community I remember from my youth. People from all over the area knew it was safe, the schools were good, the people were nice, and the town had history.

We now have a Mayor that cares and wants to make a difference, the will to move past the politics that have cost us so much, and the motivation to make our town one we can be proud of. The longer I live, the more I seem to put away the dream of living someplace where winter never arrives. Snow should be something OTHER places deal with. Even though I dislike that season so much, living here, where I grew up, gives a certain feeling of belonging. Despite being away for over 10 years with work, I feel the roots planted here since birth. Fox's is not here anymore. Roots Furniture is gone. Klahr's is leveled. Many of the people I knew are gone. Yet, this is MY town. I am proud of our handling TMI, and the fact that we had a Mayor that was also a teacher was cool. I still ache over the loss to Berwick in the first state football playoffs. I miss our spirit, but am hopeful that the youngsters bring a new energy that will allow OUR town to be a place everyone, including the graduates of Penn State, will always think of fondly.

I am and always will be a Raider, no matter where I happen to be....

If you read any of the postings here on Mom or follow us on FB (Tom Welcomer) we try and be entertaining. Here is the story I wrote on Crowdrise to start a campaign to fund future trips... https://www.crowdrise.com/helgas-adventures-in-whereverland/fundraiser/tomwelcomer

I hope you find it good enough to share! 

Helga's Adventures In Whereverland on Crowdrise

SCHOOL PICTURES

My goodness don't THESE kids look like they will change the world????

The Kindergarten class seems so long ago...prolly because it was soooooo long ago! My (few) memories are of how nice Mrs Lemon was and how I was teased at home about my attraction to Victoria for what seemed like decades!

I am ashamed to say I can't identify everybody, either because they didn't stay in Middletown or because I am mentally challenged. Each smiling face has a future lived in the following 46 years, some more interesting than others I am sure!

One of the most traumatic instances I recall was a hail storm that I got caught up in, running home from school, thinking I was gonna die! I had no idea what death was or what that meant. All I knew was I didn't want to find out quite yet.

I look into those young eyes and wonder what hopes, dreams, and realities have occurred through the years. I know not every child pictured is still with us. I know not every innocent kid, frozen in time, had a good life. I know not every youngster would want to revisit the past. What would we say if we could have a few minutes to chat with our younger selves? Are we happy with  how we turned out? Did we pause at a fork in the road and wonder what the OTHER choice would have brought? For sure we wouldn't have voted for Nixon.....

The First Grade picture is much more clear. Most of the happy faces you see there stayed in the school system and, like it usually happens, we all went in different directions socially. Some played sports, some were academics, and some (like me!) didn't try as hard at edumacating as we should have.

I remember the desks that still had a spot for an inkwell. I had an unfortunate (or FORTUNATE, which ever way you look at it!) incident around this time that I wrote about [here].

By second grade, life had gotten a bit better for Little Thomas, as I had friends that made it more fun. Paul and Joel were a big part of this school year and going forward. We may have gotten in trouble occasionally, may have not understood WHY we were learning what we learned, and we may have enjoyed recess more than the classroom, but we survived Mrs Schench and the Flood as we moved on to the third grade, prepared to take on the world! It was soon after that I had to start wearing glasses. I felt ugly and the first day I showed up with them, I cried like the insecure child I was.

By this time, we were all pretty much adults.... or so we thought! I had recovered from my unrealized infatuation with Allison and had a meaningful relationship with Yvonne - which at THAT age meant I could say HI and not feel all stupid. Diane was always the "dreamgirl" for me back then, but her future was much better and brighter with Tony. Mrs Megenity was a cool teacher that made class better and when I graduated, it meant going back to a former school and enjoying Mrs Kirkman. She was an understanding and friendly teacher. My time in the fourth grade was fun. I recall kickball games at recess, having my hat stolen and all the running around trying to retrieve it, and feeling like I was part of a group that cared about each other. Good times....

Childhood these days is far different than the laid-back early 70's. We had few concerns back then. Did we have enough money to stop at the candy store? I don't remember much homework, or much drama with school. I wonder why I didn't enjoy it more in later years. I feel for the kids of today as they have so many distractions. Life was simple and stress-free when I was their age and it doesn't seem likely to return to that any time soon.

I've daydreamed what differences there would be if I could have a do-over. Deep down, I know I could have done more to make my life more fulfilling and joyous at that age. As a kid, we don't have enough life experience to teach us about the things that seemingly wreck our little lives. We don't have the perspective to know when a problem was minor as they ALL seemed like the end of the world. We didn't have the knowledge to overcome the obstacles thrown our way, unless we had understanding parents that would guide us.

I think the best advice I could give myself, besides investing in Oracle, is to just enjoy those early years. They go by so fast and once they are gone there is no going back. A one-way ticket to more responsibility, more pressure to do well, and less time to just sit back and be a kid.

I would hope I'd listen to that.....and don't get those platform sneakers with a matching hat.... I just looked silly, not cool.

SAYING GOODBYE TO HIGH SCHOOL PT2

Here we are again.

The first time I wrote about visiting my old high school [here] it was in reflection of my own experience. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to know about OTHER students of MAHS. Luckily, there was ONE more opportunity to tour the halls, so I went back and this is what I found......

I tried to bring my best friend through school for a walk around, but had no luck. I was hoping he would help drag out some forgotten times we had, but instead, I got to talk to some strangers (and a few young ladies from '82 - It was nice to chat Cindy Hoover and Tina Spotts!) and had a great time listening to some familiar stories as well as an unexpected heartache.

I have spent many years in the insurance business talking to people I didn't know, so approaching folks on our home field was easy. I found so many fellow classmates happy to talk about their memories of being a Blue Raider. It didn't prepare me for a reminder that time doesn't ALWAYS heal wounds completely though.

In my last posting, I mentioned some names of those who didn't make it to this gathering. One I didn't bring up was Cindy Williams, who would have been class of '83. In speaking with Sharon Church today, she made tears almost spill out as she talked of missing her friend, Cindy. They would walk to school together and were very close. When Cindy passed, it took a long time before Sharon could deal with the loss. To many of us at that age, we had very few experiences with death. When it happens so young, the affect is much more profound than after we've attended a funeral or two. To think that happened over 35 years ago and still hits Sharon today shows the depth of their friendship. They were both obviously lucky to have each other in their lives.

I was fortunate enough to talk to Cheryl Weber, Class of '67, whom I caught around the gym. A most treasured remembrance was of her Mom attending basketball games, even as she went through chemo. She had nothing but good things to say about her time in these halls, years ago.

It was a nice variety of people coming and going, as I was fortunate to talk to students from 2007, 1979, 1969, 1990, and a few others. To some, the images from the past were a bit foggy. To others they are still crystal clear. The overwhelming theme was of those teachers that went above and beyond to make their subject interesting and fun. The teachers that stood out were the ones who got their kids involved. They made their kids feel special in showing that they cared. The same names kept popping up, most of which I never was fortunate enough to have. More than one person gave credit to their teacher for trying harder because of the extra push. We were lucky to have more than a few of those special people within these walls. It was almost unanimous that we felt good about being a Middletown graduate. I only hope that the future generations feel the same way in the new building.

There were teachers in MY time that I hadn't mentioned before that should have made more of an impression. Mr Scudder  wrote in my yearbook (and I of course forgot about!) who mentioned my utter failure with a young lady and my potential not being realized up to that point. Jeeze... I guess it was OBVIOUS to everyone... except ME!

Mr Stoffel was a science teacher that I think was a closet mad-scientist. He at least made class unexpected. I should have enjoyed this more as now I love the subjects he covered.

Mr Smeltz (US Cultures) actually came up in conversation with a friend of mine the other day. We each didn't apply ourselves in his class, except for goofing off.

Ms Maguffee tried her best to keep English interesting but I just couldn't get into it. Can I have a do-over?????

Mr Hart was my homeroom teacher and hoped I would go out for wrestling, which of course I never did. (I SHOULD have!)

Mr Fasnacht tried to talk to us as adults, but many of us (me included) weren't ready enough to appreciate this good guy.

Mrs Bivile wasn't my teacher but I had the pleasure to play tennis with her (and get BEAT repeatedly!).

Mr Atkinson was always smiling, but me being me, I didn't keep many memories of Biology. Maybe it's biological.

Mrs Raser was another English teacher.... need I say more???? All MY fault.

Mr Sollenberger's name came up again and again as an important figure from school. I should have taken more advantage of his wisdom...

I've missed mentioning many fine teachers but understand I was only a half-day for my junior and senior years. At the time I thought I was lucky. In retrospect, I SHOULD have applied myself much much more. Do YOU have any fond memories to share????

It made me smile when I saw a former student's face light up as they told a story of Mr or Mrs So and So, making the day better by being their teacher. It's obvious that it wasn't the walls of this school, the location, the lack of air conditioning or quality of the water that makes it special. It is the faculty we treasure. Those giving souls that wanted to make a difference in our lives. We will never forget how much they helped us in those difficult younger years. Not only giving us a great foundation of education to go on to college, but moving on to the working world as well.

I spoke with a member of the class of '73. They brought up an interesting thought. You've seen the painted picture of our Raider logo on the wall in the gym. The class of '73 was responsible for getting that done. There is a proposal by the same class in doing it again in the NEW gym. Sounds pretty cool right?

The gym was where so many folks headed for pictures. I remember the times we played dodgeball, wrestling, running, and of course, basketball. It was fun to play those games with people you didn't know. Sometimes you bonded and sometimes you found a new enemy!

The best athlete in my particular class was a basketball player. Yes YOU Keith. The Jefferies name goes back decades in our school history and we were lucky to have him and Tony back to back on the court and as our friends. The fascinating thing I found in my nosing around other people's memory was that the star athlete or the cheerleader was noticeably absent. Time has a way of minimizing their stature in life after school, and minimizing the importance of certain things in the grand scheme. We would all have wanted to BE them though, if even for one game....right?

I asked a few folks, if they could go back and talk to their younger-selves, what would they tell them? "Doing more" and "not taking the setbacks of school so hard" was a common statement. It seems life changes our values and goals, and sometimes school helps with that, sometimes not. In looking back, we see the bad times weren't really that bad. At the time they may have seemed like a never-ending tunnel to nowhere, but as we learn by living, we persevere and are stronger after. Most times the biggest influence on how much we get out of something is staring at us in the mirror. I know I didn't take advantage, but I am so glad others did.

I wonder how many people dusted off their old yearbooks and re-read the notes our friends wrote. Many people say they are still friends all these years later. School has a way of bonding like no other, and it is the easiest time to find someone we want to hang with. Facebook has made it easier to reach out and catch up with people that may have wandered off.

Time ran out on me as I wish I could have heard more stories of time spent in Middletown schools.... Please share HERE if you like!

SAYING GOODBYE TO HIGH SCHOOL

There was an open house to the high school that everyone in Middletown has gone to since 1963. I decided to go even though there's not a lot of memories there. My school years were not my happy years, so I think my mind has deleted or at least hid those files from me for a long time. Since they will tear down this building that has been central to our upbringing here in Raidertown, I was hoping that some of my lost memories would make an appearance.

I saw some familiar faces, which was a nice surprise. These are the same folks that still live around the area but we have never associated, even in school. It doesn't make us bad people. Just NOT friends. So many souls have passed through these rooms with me along for the ride. I should have done more to make real connections with my classmates but I was a mess. My self-esteem was not just low, it was unmeasurable. I mentioned it in a posting [here] about Billy Baumbach.....my Nemesis. He had no idea.....

As I walked through those halls, very few things stood out. The first was of those souls who didn't make it to 2016 for the tour. We lost a few classmates along the way. (I wrote about Donnie Leggore [here]) Jimmy Morrison comes to mind, as he was such a good guy that couldn't win over his addiction. Betty Vogt was our first loss I believe, by a car accident. There were a few more, like friends Tony Kinsey and Sue Strohm, others Rita, Anthony, Hesh, and more I may not know of. Suffice it to say they are all missed. We won't know until OUR time is done if they were the lucky ones or not. I guess the walls themselves held nothing to remember, but when I got home and started thinking about high school, many other things started popping up. In no particular order (or is THAT a kind-of order???)

Audrey Majette.....

It took almost 30 years, but I had my first conversation with Audrey )and she signed my yearbook!). She found out that I had a crush but knew I couldn't pursue it then. Although she was a pretty cheerleader, Audrey always seemed happy and was smiling 24/7. She made those rare moments when our paths crossed a delight.

Pappy Walters.....

Those of us who had Mr Walters in metal shop didn't understand at the time how lucky we were to have HIM as our leader. The first thought that I have is how almost every day seemed to start.... We would all be lounging around his desk, as Mr Walters would usually come in right at the bell to start. He would yell, "HEY!" Why aren't you guys working???" We would respond, "..... but Pappy, It's MONDAY!.... " the next day, same routine, he would come in and say "Hey! Why aren't you guys working????" We would reply, "....but Pappy, it's TUESDAY!" We couldn't get away with THAT again until next Monday... He was a good guy who left us far too young.

What a difference a YEAR makes in school, but now, a few years later, not so much...

One of the first things I noticed as I started my last four years of learning was the respect that higher grade kids had for their younger compadres. They would be so very helpful in helping make the uneasy adjustments to this new environment and their compassion was unending, making us all feel like we belonged to the group. Also the ladies who were seniors or juniors would always be open to dating underclassman, as they knew we were vulnerable to being forever damaged by the torment of youth. OK, it was exactly OPPOSITE of all that.

....and SPEAKING of girls, what's with all the mentions of "girls" in the yearbook???? I MUST have been so painfully obvious with my insecurities that most everyone mentioned in my yearbook about being "hopeful" I will find someone special, as well as reminding me of my epic failures in THAT department. "Friends" permanently recorded in the pages, "good luck with the girls, you will NEED it"..... and "...good luck with the girls, you will never master the skills". No wonder I had issues....

Alison Korn.....

Every class had a "beauty queen" and ours was Alison. I had known her a bit since grade school. Her family lived down the street from me and I would occasionally see her there. By the time we got to high school, she was a star and I was a shadow in the background, yet she was always nice and talkative. A lot more than I could ever imagine. It was some of the few times I felt like I was a part of the cool crowd. I've wondered for years what happened to her, but I won't bug.

Mayor Reid......He became VERY well-known for being Mayor during a challenging time, but one of the "unfortunates" of my time at MAHS is that he was NEVER a teacher of mine.... I'm sure it would have been fun AND educational.... Mr McConaghy..... He was one of the teachers who, somehow seemed a complete human being. he had personal difficulties that came out in class discussions and we couldn't have respected him more for sharing. Mrs Kulha.....She was the teacher that I wanted to have but, FRENCH????? As a half-German that couldn't SPEAK German, it just seemed wrong. But she WAS elegant! Mr Guinivan and Mr Kamandulis.... The corporal punishment I earned, right or wrong, were by these guys. Once when I got Pam Crum to laugh while she was reading out loud in Mr K's class. The other was in shop for a long forgotten incident. The School system ended these practices soon after. I'm sure it's been regretted ever since. Pete Fox Sr.... I thought I told this story here before but I can't find it.... I was in wood shop during the heydays of Wrestling. Mr Fox was the teacher and the discussion one day turned to the "sleeper hold". There was more than one enthusiastic volunteer to experiment with it's effectiveness. Turns out the largest kid in school offered himself up as "victim" and the biggest fan of WWF would put the hold on him. Mr Fox didn't believe it would work but OK'd the show. Bruce put his arms around Terry's neck and in short order, the big guy went down! Not only that, he had slammed neck-first into a vice. I KNOW Mr Fox saw his career flash in front of his eyes. Luckily, no permanent damage was done to the vice or Terry but Bruce was just as shocked as anyone in class it worked!!! Mr Demichele.... Although there is no mention of it in the yearbook, I thought we lost my homeroom teacher during the school year. We waited for him to show up and he never came. Mr Kraft..... He was a guy that tried to get you thinking and involved. How do you do THAT with MATH????? He was usually smiling and happy and much appreciated.

Mr Brunner..... What can be said that hasn't been spoken by many already. The man was ICONIC, not in his meanness, but in his fairness and strength of character. He was the reason Middletown had a GREAT reputation all those years ago. He was involved enough that when I tried to sneak out during school hours with a friend, guess who was waiting for me at the door when we got back? ....and he called me by name. I didn't know him but I sure as heck respected him. Irv Alexander..... I'm sure many students didn't know this fine man, and I didn't either while in school. It was after I had graduated that we spent many hours in the gym together, talking and teaching and laughing. He left us as a young man and is missed by everyone he spoke with I'm sure.

Mrs Ford..... This young lady had my memories all disconfusalated. When I sat back and thought about Mrs F's English class, nothing really came up. Yet, when I broke out the yearbooks, I found THIS - "The strong individualist of period one - the non-conformer. You are a capable young man. When you find your little corner of the world, I am sure that you will do a great job. Use all that potential that I see". HOW did I forget all THAT????? When people ask me about why I write, I give no credit for school, as in "I didn't even LIKE English class". I am such an idiot. She is missed, by many I am sure. Those smarter than ME.

I ALSO forgot ANOTHER interesting entry on my yearbook by a teacher ' Mrs Ott wrote "To a nice young student with a very individualistic but undisciplined personality. I enjoyed having you in class even though you didn't work up to your capacity. Best of luck in the future. Long Live Elvis!"

Why didn't I participate more???? Plays, the school newspaper, conditioning club, student council, typing, sewing, Spanish, band, radio, sports... we had opportunities for each. And yet I said no to all. Dumb dumb. The teachers WERE right about my potential and lack of reaching it in school.

TMI..... I remember being in the lunchroom when TMI was announced. There was so much confusion that we didn't know anything for a while. Eventually, we all got to go home. Some parents were ready to leave town. Mine just made me stay in. it was a memorable time, as even President Carter came by to visit my neighborhood.

I came to the locker number with the combination from 10th grade. Why I ever saved that is beyond me but I still had it. Of course the lockers have changed since I attended so long ago. Like everything in life, progress rolls forward.

Am I happy I went?

Well..... I haven't written much in quite a while and yet the words came flowing out. What do YOU think??? My lost sentimentality began with reflection of the past and what importance it is in my life. Honestly, it means very little. I found my happiness in life long after my student days were done and have put most of the memories away. I posted [here] about how looking back hasn't exactly been a positive thing. This visit was a confirmation that the past is the past and I don't dwell on it or have much use for it. It helped make me who I am but other than that, there isn't much.

I always hold out hope for more though.... Yes, I'm THAT corny.

There will be no new friends from that time, as they all have family obligations and a life beyond our childhood.

When they finally demolish the building none of my memories will go down with it. Nothing will be buried. There will be no loss. I just hope that many years from now, when the NEW school is old, the place we call "home" for 4 years of our life is filled with happy thoughts and happy folks.