NOW & THEN - WOMEN

It was Betty White's 97th birthday the day I started this post. In January 2022, she would have been 100 years young.What a life she has led!

No, I don't have an unhealthy attraction towards her, but it DID make me think about something. It made me think about the changes in what we want in the opposite sex, as time goes on. 

Not everyone has to ponder this type of thing. A LOT of folks are happily married to their best friend. Some people are living with their future spouse. But, unfortunately, there are a few of us (OK, maybe more than a FEW) that AREN'T. 

As I looked back, deep into the past, I just shook my head at what I thought was important in a woman. The most important thing was, did she like me? Not much else mattered because I was so insecure. No wonder I was such a failure with the ladies.  

Our vision when we are young is so limited. We don't have the benefit of time and experience to know what is good for us. We don't have the wisdom to look past a pretty face or an alluring shape. 

Sitting here and thinking about my "ideal", it starts at being attractive. Then quickly evolves to "is she interesting?" Going forward, it's soooo much more than just mutual attraction any more. 

But what does "attractive" mean? Yes, it means that when I look at her, I want to smile. I want to feel fortunate that she is with me. But, now in my 50's, it goes beyond the obvious. It isn't the pretty face that is compelling, but the personality and character that matter most. Unfortunately, that makes a search for someone who fits that description even harder. There are MANY more "gorgeous" people out there than there are interesting and compassionate. 

I found out, during my dating days, that the person who had opinions, had an open mind, wanted to learn and experience new things, was GREAT at something, and laughed at my jokes was the one I wanted to spend time with. They may have been short or tall, younger or older, thick or thin, it didn't seem to matter as much what package this cool person was in. One would think that I would have found her by now, yet success eluded me - mostly because of my bad decisions. I let the good ones go away, finding a deal breaker somewhere. What an idiot. 

The worst scenario was when I would find someone who seemed like a perfect fit, despite there being a fatal flaw, more times than not that flaw was they didn't like me as much as I did them. Living in the POSSIBILITIES can be harmful to one's mental health. Believe me, I know! Having it happen once is bad enough, but some of us are so thick-headed that we don't accept the teaching of just ONE heartbreak. Nope. We need CONFIRMATION that we are a moron by doing the exact same thing AGAIN. 

Ugh....

As I look back on my social life, I certainly can't complain. There have been some truly great human beings that I had the honor to know, there have been some truly disappointing people I didn't want to know, and there have been more than a few that were nice, but not for me. We all, I'm sure, have a few folks that got away for one reason or another. In looking back, there are more than a few that I prolly could have been happily-ever-after with. I just wasn't ready I suppose. 

So what would I have to offer now that I'm older and slightly wiser? 

I have more patience than ever. I am more informed on many topics. I am more worldly. I am more educated on who exactly would be a good match. I am more compassionate. I am MUCH more confident. 

It's a shame that all those qualities took a lifetime to acquire. Oh well, better late than never, right???

As far as Betty goes, she is gone now, and the world is lesser for it. She was a shining example of someone who didn't need a child or a man to make her happy. She lived her life and worked on her own terms. She won at life and we are all better for knowing her, if even from a distance... 

PERSPECTIVE (AGAIN!)

This week can be a bugger for some single folks and I am no different. It's easy to get grabbed by the blues monster, and after all these years dealing with it, I am mostly successful. 

Today COULD be the worst. Seeing all the flowers being bought and imagining everyone, but a few of us, is living happily-ever-after with someone terrific. It sure can make this holiday one to loath if you don't have counter-measures in place. You can't even talk to friends today, because they are busy with the romantical crap. 

That's why I am compelled to write tonight. 

The previous week has made me very aware of "perspective" and the need to focus on the positives. Just in the previous 140ish hours, I could have bathed in self-pity. I have been challenged by more than a few instances of things not going as expected. 

(In no particular order...) Things like:

- Mom needing more help with personal care
- breaking the glass on my phone that covers the camera lens
- the car breaking down 70  miles from home
- "black screen" on my phone, making it unusable
- no special someone on this bleeping holiday
- flat tire... again
- engine light comes on, after a repair was done 3 days prior
- item I was going to buy was sold out when I got back to it
- Mom having issues with me, if I want to leave the room
- finding so many negatives in such a short time

Years ago, this mountain of misery might have dropped me into a depressed state and I would have needed a weekend of sappy movies and bawling like a baby to "correct" my mood.  

Luckily, I have evolved.

Mom needing help is expected and for a moment, disappointing. It's always sad that the decline is so constant and measurable. The GOOD side is, my own memories of time with her are overflowing with goodness. The assistance she now requires brings back my own past when she did the same for me. It is not always a good time, but the positives are right up front and happen often. She is happy and can easily come out of a stress-filled situation smiling, if I deal with it in a calm manner. 

Breaking my phone seems to happen way too often. Is it the quality of manufacture or just me being an oaf? That's up for debate. It was TRULY annoying since I already had the screen fixed, returned a defective phone, and in general, don't like my cell since day one. 

On a positive note, the repair will only cost a few dollars and doesn't require a professional to fix. this, for sure, isn't a huge negative, but in the larger picture, it added to the slew of things going on. 

The car breaking down was a real downer. I was not close to home, and the repair costs were over $700. It interrupted my work time so it cost more than the actual bill. 

The positive side of this was I broke down in a safe area that had a heated office to make calls (since it was a BAD cell area) and a safe area to keep the car until the tow vehicle arrives. The car actually started after a while, and I found my way to the nearest dealer for repair. The dealer provided a loaner car to get home and they were very nice to deal with. I got to sleep in my own bed. All in all, while the costs are a bit hard to swallow, the bad was far outdone by the good here. 

Do you get the idea yet? 

Whenever there is a bump in the road, there is ALWAYS something positive to offset the crap. If you focus on THAT, the negative will always seem a lot less imposing. Fill your head with positive thoughts and the bad will have no way to settle in. 

Besides, in six months, you will probably already have forgotten the event and the annoyance. Isn't THAT the test of just how significant a situation REALLY is?? 

MY FRIENDSHIP WITH FAT

Yes, I know it is a strange title. Who would make blubber a POSITIVE???? 

Not me. 

But it must NOT be an enemy, because I have had plenty around me for a long time. There were times I didn't, the latest being around 2001. I was working out and enjoying it. Then I just..... didn't. All the way to 280 pounds. Holy cow...  

The key to my controlling my weight has always been my attitude. I have a way of not caring, that is awful. It HAS it's merits, as not caring about things you can't control is a good thing. But.... Not caring about what you eat, the amount of exercise you get, or what you look like, can all be very, very bad. 

You would think an unmarried guy would WANT to look his best for the potential ladies that might come along. No one seems to like the fat guy as much.

Yeah, I didn't care about THAT either. But I did and failed to admit it to myself. Yup. I am just as messed up as anyone. I just talk about it more.

I justified not caring by saying, "if someone is that superficial and won't talk to me because I carry an extra couple (dozen) pounds, then I prolly won't want THEM."

yeah... that's crap. 

So why the change lately? 

Well.... you know, when a significant life-event takes place, you examine yourself and re-evaluate things. I did and decided enough was enough. I'm tired of feeling not my best. I am tired of tired feet. I am tired of clothes that look like a small circus tent. I'm tired of causing some of my own loneliness.

Which makes no sense right? To be OK with ALL that stupidity, I must really need to see the neurologist and explain why I torpedo myself so often. 

It all goes back to not caring. It ISN'T a chemical imbalance. Tried that, no effect. It isn't psychological inadequacies, as I tried THAT. I think I just have a life that allows me to do whatever I want and sometimes I don't want the good stuff. I call THAT coo coo.  

No longer. 

Mom's situation has given me something I would have to beg for in the past - time. Why am I NOT taking advantage of it? I could be walking more. I could be working with free weights. I have them. No excuses. I could be watching what I eat. I could be CARING. If not for me, then why not prepare for my girl of tomorrow? 

The time is now. 

So here I am, a week into this new adjustment. It has been easy to focus on the reason why. It isn't difficult to limit my portions or skip them. It has been a pleasure to take Mom along on a walkabout. So far so good. 

Wish me luck in the journey to a new me. 

WHEN THE ONE YOU WANT DON'T WANT YOU

It's so hard to find someone you like.

 Although there's lots of people, in many different shapes sizes and colors, we don't always notice.  When one DOES stand out from the crowd,  you take notice, and if you can, take action!

 You might walk up to her and hope she doesn't run
 You might hit some buttons on your phone and hit send with a 😃
 You do all you can do to make a good impression.
 The best things about you are on full display.

And then you wait with anticipation to see what she will say...  then she says nothing. All the enchantment from the possibilities ahead blown into the dark, cold void that is your life.

No reply or nothing.
No smile or nothing.
No interest coming. 
You might try again. And again.

To show her you need her, and hope she needs you too.
To show her you don't walk away when problems come up.
To show her what a real man would do, if he was convinced she might be the final last love.

When none of that sparks interest, you start erasing all the memories of what made her special, and start listing those things that didn't.

And now there's a whole different hope.  Of one you desperately need. Of leaving this sickening emptiness
and getting back to being you. There is no pill or prayer to ease the pain. There's only the new reality of a world without her in it. The reality you never considered.

You thought she might be the one.
You thought you were her prayers answered
You thought eternity was the two of you together

All the dreams you had with her are now being lived by someone new. The ego takes a hit for sure, but it wasn't so much "you" or "him". It was "I don't want YOU!"

Yeah....you were wrong.

WHAT'S LEFT?

I posed a question to myself around the same time we lost Tom Petty. The inspiration came from a college student as I thought about their journey, and then thought of my own. 

"What is left to do in life?" 

Everyone has a different answer of course. For many, it is measured in raising kids, or vacation destinations, or buying an item on their bucket list. There is no incorrect answer, and none are the same for everybody. But what about ME? 

I've written about the absence of children, but will I consider myself a failure if I never find their Mother? No. Would my life have been better with them included? Of course, but that is somewhat out of my control. You are NOT guaranteed to finding a mate you want to spend forever with, and I won't have kids just to have kids. 

Travel? I have made it to a few countries, but many more are inviting and interesting. India, China, England, Italy, Australia, and a stack of others are on the list of must see destinations. If I don't go? No worries. Plenty to see in the USA. 

Buying anything special??? I got my truck, so I think I am satisfied there. 

Mom has to be mentioned in this. If she stays happy until she takes her last breath, then I can go, knowing I did right by her. 

As a matter of fact, I can go NOW and know I am a better person then I was as a young man. Better to others, better for myself, better for the environment. Just a better human being. It's comforting, and satisfying.

I found the key to my own happiness that frequently is lost on others. I no longer feel the crushing, disabling, and paralyzing sense of despair whenever something awful happens. Or even when a bout of the blues shows up. I recognize it, embrace it, and move on. What else should one do? 

What IS left on my own constantly changing bucket list? 

California! Driving on Route 1 from beginning to end will be like my own version of heaven. Seeing some sights, and enjoying the weather will be like the cherry on top though. Driving Dester is essential to the experience too...

Helping others has always been on the list. There is no reason to erase it. It may be only getting a smile from a stranger, but I hope to be a bright spot in anyone's day. 

Moving South. Yes, I want winter to be a distant memory! No more snow, no more frigid cold, no more salty roads. THAT sounds heavenly...

That may be the shortest bucket list ever! Maybe rename it a teacup list.... 

...subject to change of course....

ABOUT TIME

I watched a movie last night that was pretty darn good. It made me THINK, which is always nice, but I only recommend it if you like STORIES instead of just blowing things up and awesome special effects.

I went down to the local RedBox and got "About Time".

I have to admit to liking the idea of time travel, so this movie was an easy choice. It's English, so it is a little odd to us here in the States, but some of us can appreciate the differences.

The story is about this man whose family has a secret gift - the men can travel through time! This brings up a bunch of questions that the guy's father answers the best he can. What follows is a nice series of episodes that involve his returning to the past as a do-over. Imagine if you could just have a rehearsal to life! One run-though, and then the NEXT time would count... Hmmmm....

The obvious question that comes up is, what would YOU do if you could travel back through your lifetime? Would you change anything or just relive it as it unfolded? It's an interesting thought....

Most people would probably think of money first, but that's before you think of all the important things you could accomplish. People's lives could be enriched, pain could be lessened, and unimaginable numbers of ways to make the world a little better place to live. Memories can be experienced again, people who have passed can be treasured, great days can be appreciated, even more....

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?

GROUNDHOG DAY

One of my favorite movies of all time is Groundhog Day. It isn't because the movie is theoretically set in Pa. it's actually filmed in Illinois.. It isn't because I'm a Bill Murray fan. I could not say that honestly. It isn't because of any deep-rooted fandom of Sonny & Cher, but "Babe" is a good song that fits PERFECT in the movie....

What IS it then?

Of course I like anything that involves time-travel. Imagining the possibilities of going back (or forward!) is fascinating and would be my choice of superpowers - if we had a choice! While this movie isn't exactly time-travel in the classic sense, it's more like a time loop that keeps repeating the day over and over...

I also like endings that make you feel GOOD instead of mad, sad, or plaid. This movie has a happy ending....

The REAL reason I like it is the choices Murray's character makes as he re-runs the days events again and again. I would have done them too! ALL of the m... If you remember or once you have seen this film, you will know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!This entertaining 101 minute classic, appears fairly often on regular TV. As a matter of fact, it was the inspiration for writing this! Once I saw it yet again, it reminded me of why I loved it so much.

It would probably not surprise anyone that the director was Harold Ramis. if that name rings a bell, he was a writer and/or director for a LOT of well-known flicks.... Animal House, Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, Stripes, and National Lampoon's Vacation are all a part of this good guy's body of work. Everyone that speaks of him say the same thing - he was a real NICE guy who liked to tell a good story. And he did....

One of the comments Harold makes about the affect Groundhog day has on various religions is that they all think he must have been a "Christian", or "Jewish" or many others, because it related to all of them.... The fact that a man can change for the better, no matter how unhappy he may have been. It's a journey we all face at one time or another and it's told here in a way that is clever. The DAY doesn't change, but the MAN does, and by the end, is a better human being for going through it.

Phil Connors starts off this adventure being very unlikable. He doesn't like what he does or who he is. Once he realizes what's happening, he is happy knowing there are no consequences to anything done during the day. He seduces women, steals a bag of cash from the bank, eats too much, smokes too much, drives into billboard signs too much. Eventually the fun stops and he gets depressed knowing that nothing will last. The ironic part is, that once he realizes helping people makes him feel much better, he finally can move on....

Laughing at some scenes, it may get overlooked just how profound this comedy is, but I would rate it as one of my favorite movies ever done. If you haven't seen it yet, maybe you would like it too...

BEING LAZY VS WORKING

The other day I had a decision to make. It was raining out and I felt a bit unenergetic. Rain used to affect me in much worse ways in the past, but thankfully, not any more. Sooo..... what to do?? Work or be a deadbeat?

The answer ISN'T always "work". Or play. 

Money IS important, of course. You need it to pay the rent, to eat, to buy important things like truck parts and toilet paper. The eternal question is, when do you have ENOUGH? 

Our savings account is not overflowing. Like most folks, we could always use more digits on the monthly statement. But at what cost? 

Everyone should have some time to themselves to do as they please. Time to rest. Time to recharge. Time to get ready for the next day. For me and Mom, that time is usually spent on the road. Riding the Triumph, taking the truck out, or in the best of times, driving hundreds of miles to visit a place we never been. 

This question ALSO popped up YESTERDAY. The weather was nice and I knew it was prolly the last day we will be in the 80's until next year. This was the perfect excuse to skip out on the job and enjoy the open road on the motorcycle. 

I wondered if I was doing the right thing for the long-term. Mental health vs healthy savings. The debate didn't rage on for very long. The bills were paid for the month and we had a bit extra to put in the rainy day fund. There really wasn't much to consider. 

The clincher was that Mom was smiling while we took in the sunshine. That was my reward for a job not done....

SOLITAIRIALITY

Yes... I know I like to make up words.

This one fits the the mood lately though. Even with Mom around, my world seems so small and empty at times. I'm not complaining.

This time it IS a choice, unlike a couple I saw recently arguing in the car. He wanted out of the relationship, and she was begging him for more. She was all over him, trying to use her feminine ways to open up his mind to a different option... one that included her. I don't know how they ended up, but I can only remember how I reacted the last time someone didn't want to be bothered by my existence.

These are the kinds of moments in life that sometimes demand we withdraw and regroup. Moments like if someone goes away. If life is shattered by an event or person. If one's heart is broken by another's choices. There are MANY reasons, and for everyone dealing with the curves on the path of life, many GOOD reasons to step back and re-evaluate the current situation.

What that means to ME is that I won't reach out to people. It makes it easy to ease into the this temporary lifestyle because most of my interactions are initiated by ME. Without that push, the phone doesn't ring, the computer doesn't chirp, and the world gets very very quiet.

In my world at that moment, there is no re-evaluation, but a realization of the way things were.

I usually have enough sociality with folks that I don't feel lonely or isolated. A good conversation goes a  long way to making one feel a part of the human race. I have enough interests to ask questions of a stranger, but it gets harder when I would rather just walk alone on the moon.

For those that might think it sounds dull.... far from it!

When it's just you and your imagination, it may allow some of the best discussions to happen.

When you play a game, you are guaranteed to win.....and lose.

You can watch what you want on TV, listen to YOUR radio stations, and let your dishes pile up until you run out of plates.

I know myself by now that without reflection, I may make some rash and stupid choices. I need to make peace with how my world has changed (or NOT changed, like I wanted). I will eventually not feel like part of my soul was ripped out. I will eventually not get emotional thinking the "what-could-be's" have morphed into a "never be". I will eventually let the memories fade and be open to new ones that will replace them.

...it just won't be in a day.... or many days.

I hope that young lady accepted the situation and is dealing with it in a good, positive way. In the long run, he did her a HUGE favor by being honest and upfront. I hope she realizes it sooner rather than later. She will be able to look back and see what was right there but was blocked by her heart. There's something to be said for holding out hope of a good ending. It's what keeps us going through the hard times and puts a smile on our face at any moment it comes to mind.

Yet....

It's funny (not FUNNY!) to look back at all the times where, in the back of your mind, you just knew something wasn't quite right, but all you wanted to imagine was sunshine and daisies.. Most situations you can explain away in both positive and negative versions. When you are still hopeful of course you are going to think nothing but good thoughts. Hindsight allows you to throw away the version that was incorrect.

Hindsight also allows the healing to begin.

I don't know how to describe the feeling that, despite all the evidence to the contrary, one still thinks the situation will end happily ever after. I used to think back on the story of George Burns and Gracie Allen. It took George 3 years to convince Gracie that she should be with him and I guess he was right since it lasted 40 years. Unfortunately, that theory has never worked out for me! Haha

How can your heart still feel broken when it never really belonged or was wanted by the person you pined for?? Hindsight will allow us to see it clearly for what it was, not for what you wanted.

Luckily experience teaches you to react in different ways when you are older as opposed to when you were young and dumb. Hopefully it will be in a more positive way and not blaming anyone or anything for the awful conclusion.

There really isn't an explanation needed when someone decides you don't belong in their life. It's not going to help you feel any better. It's not going to make any more sense. It's not going to help you heal any faster. It's just an excuse for you to speak to them again and it just makes you look stupid. You aren't going to convince them otherwise. They already made the decision. Respect it and move on.

Most times, you will be able to look back years later and feel lucky you didn't get what you think you wanted. Not just because Garth wrote a song about it, but because it's true. There are reasons things do or don't happen, whether you want to hear them or see them doesn't matter... they still exist. A one-sided relationship will never work for both people as well as two people who deeply care for each other.

These are usually the facts -

All those times when you were thinking of that person, they probably weren't thinking of you at all.

All the images of the future that you had of the two of you together probably never entered the other person's mind ever.

The other person is probably ecstatic right now, while you wallow in misery.

The many excuses for not getting together were all the evidence you should have needed to make an adjustment in your feelings about that person.

Most people who care about you will find a reason to reach out or show up to see you. Those that don't care, will not.

"Bad timing" or "I'm just doing me" are code words for leave me alone. You are not the one. Move along.

It doesn't pay to get angry at someone because they don't care about you. If you find out about it soon enough it's actually a gift that you should appreciate and celebrate.

If you look back at past relationships, once the pain has gone away, you understand and agree, most of the time, with The Break-Up.

While it may seem hurtful, painful, and bleak at the time, I assure you this feeling won't continue once you look realistically at the way things were.

When you do finally find someone who feels similar to you as you feel for them, all these past hurts disappear. Memories fade and faces get erased.

It's okay to crawl in hole and disappear for a moment, so that you can have time to think and react to a new reality. What it shouldn't become is a lifestyle.

Contrary to regular guy theories, jumping back on that horse too soon will only expose your bad decision making processes while you are in the throes of healing. Once you can think clearly and without malice, it may be time to get back in the game.

Love is elusive when played alone.

REMINDERS OF WHAT'S MISSING

This was a strange day. Not because of the rainy weather, the late start, or the grilled cheese with too much butter. From beginning to end, it felt like I was a spectator. Mom was more confused than usual and didn't seem so happy. People I met were cordial not friendly. What REALLY hit the emotion button was re-watching the movie "About Time" (which I wrote about HERE).

While I enjoy the film because of it's unique story, tonight it just opened up the emptiness of what is NOT in my life, things I  so obviously WANT - Someone to give my heart to, a FULL life with Mom, having a Father/Son day (as the child!), having a Father/Son day (as the Dad!), having family gatherings on a regular basis, and having an overwhelming sense of happiness in my ho-hum existence.

Luckily, this is a mood that passes. I don't feel left out or cheated, I don't feel despair at the current situation, even if Mom didn't have a good day. I look back at my decisions and am OK with the way things played out.

But....

.....when THIS mood hits, the holes are exposed and the pain of loss /unsuccessfullness /defeat is felt fully.

I had a thought. If I won the lottery, what would I trade it for, if I could?

A Father figure I could respect?
A child that I could be proud to call my own DNA?
A Wife that thinks I am the answer to the question, "Whom do I want to spend eternity with?"
World peace?

Probably all of that and more.

Money never REALLY brought the happiness I imagined it would, when I was young and poor (and idiotic!) I only realized the value of joy when I finally came to grips with my own place as a human being. On evenings like THIS one however, the logic of those realizations are completely clouded over by the heartache and longing for what is out of reach.

I used to dwell on this bluesy outlook but, since I AM older and WISER, I don't have to... or WANT to.

Things that make you unhappy MUST be dealt with by either action or acceptance. It is the basis for making any situation better.  As I write this, I choose to shed a tear or two, whine a bit to myself, and accept that tomorrow, I will be a bit smileyer. Tomorrow I will be no closer to a Mom to have deep discussions with, a Father to share man-stuff, a child to treasure, my wife to adore.... it feels like I will NEVER have any of that.

Time to go to sleep so the sun can rise faster!

POLITICS 2016

It's funny. In the past, I would pay a little attention to the election process, and some years I would choose the Republican candidates across the board. Simple. Easy.

...and for me, wrong.

I decided this year I would be more involved, look deeper into the issues, research the candidates, and vote who best represented ME. Facebook allowed me to exchange ideas and thoughts. One of my best friends whom I respect greatly, freely speaks of the Republican ideals and his thoughts on the parties as a whole. I watch as much as I can stand, and then I think about the future.

And then I wonder.

How can our future as a country be best laid out?
Who is capable of bringing together our nation of diversity?
Whom can I trust to have the character to do what they say?
Who has the courage to fight the big fight and not back down?
Who has the dignity to reject the easy money and fight for the people instead of the wealthy?
Who will be a President that I can be PROUD to say I voted for?

There seems to be only a few options for people in this crazy process. Some folks have totally given up on the value of their vote. They feel they have no voice or hope that ANYONE will be there to fight for THEM. None of the people running has spoken a message that they relate to. They have become cynical and would rather just ignore the whole scene. I can't blame them.

The "news" that is reported these days cannot be taken at face value. There appears to be an agenda for each network to choose a side in every battle, including this one. I never thought I would see the day when that far-fetched idea was reality. Not only can't you trust what is being said, but you don't REALLY know WHERE you CAN get an honest look at current events. That fact has made people distrustful of almost everything now. Cynicism rules.... how sad.

It's obvious from where most people sit that the 1% has benefited the most in the last 30 years. Real wages have not improved much, jobs have been lost to foreign lands, and costs have gone up and multiplied. Corporations have infected the DC area and the public's vision is, as long as they fill the outstretched arms of those in power  with cash, they will pretty much be able to get whatever they want. Nothing has been done to prevent another 2008 from happening, which destroyed thousands of families. Those holding high offices then, hold high offices now. There is a status quo and it doesn't include John or Jane Q Public.

What can we do?

The biggest problem, as I see it, is a lack of a central figure. I was a Bernie supporter and I know that wasn't embraced by the average American. Yes the crowd WAS vocal and he WAS able to win almost two dozen state's primary elections in spite of the Democratic National Committee conspiring to choose Clinton in advance. His ideas were said to big too big or undoable. He spoke of socialism and folks who didn't understand it were scared away from even learning the definition. One of his many themes was that college should be debt-free, but many just took that as kids looking for free stuff. He also wanted to take out the same big banks that were "too big to fail". This alone should have made people support him in droves but the concept didn't ring in the ears of the common man or woman. Disappointing, to say the least, that the only person talking a positive message would be drowned out by the negativity and craziness.

There is Gary Johnson of the Libertarian Party. I don't know much about this guy but he IS a former Republican who believes in less government and still allows big money to have a hand in the political scene.Their platform can be found [here]. There are a few lines I do NOT like but everyone has a different idea of what is important. Do I think Gary would be a better choice than either "careless" or "clueless"? I think SNOOPY would be a better option, honestly....

The Green Party's claim to fame is that they "gave away" the Presidency to Bush when the Green Party had thousands of votes and Gore lost by hundreds. While here is NOT the place to debate THAT ridiculous notion, Jill Stein deserves a look, (platform [here]) especially if you were a Berner. She speaks much the same language and has the enthusiasm and positive message that Bernie had.

The two major parties are well known and I can't add anything new to the mix. There ARE certain people who will vote their party no matter what. Then there are those who look at individual merit and vote accordingly. This election, more than most others, will be determined by those in the middle. I just shake my head when the internet provides one side of an issue and the very next article will refute it. I know the frustration of people TRYING to get an unbiased report these days. I KNOW it is difficult to believe ANYONE in the political scene. I KNOW you feel your vote might not matter, yet it DOES. It REALLY does.

I hope you cast a ballot, not out of FEAR but from your heart. This is a time for change and it WILL happen, if you don't just cave in to the parties in charge. Do it to feel better about yourself. Do it to add your voice to the mix. Do it so you can complain loudly, or celebrate wildly, the results in November. Do it.

THE VALUE OF A LIFE

Those of you who have followed along know the subject of "life" comes up fairly often. While I try and entertain, the REAL goal here isn't to preach or tell anyone what they should do. I won't start now...

But I DO ask questions....

With the passing of Mom's ex, the finality of death comes into focus quite clearly. The past postings [here] covered a few things related to someone passing and/or looking into the mirror and facing reality. When faced with someone close to you passing away, there is usually a time for reflection and re-examination. This time I wondered about the lasting value of ANY human being.

If you have one person or one hundred thousand come to your funeral, does it make your life more meaningful? You may have touched lives, which of course has a definite worth. How and to what extent is measured after your absence. Did you instill a belief or redirect the path of someone going the wrong way? Did you show that happiness and joy are a choice? Will you be the subject of stories for years after your passing? What type of tales will be told? Ones you can be proud of? Does it matter to you?

When a celebrity passes, some people truly are in mourning. It seems strange to me until I remember how I reacted when Elvis never came out of the bathroom. It hurt. The pain wasn't for the person we didn't know. It was for the loss of that person going forward in our life. No more anticipation of a new movie/song/contribution to society.... and us. No more hope to meet them in person. No more of ANYTHING but the past. Prince had an effect on people, and they truly feel the emptiness of a world without him. What was HIS value beyond net worth? Does his family fighting over his estate diminish his legacy because he failed to plan for his own demise?

What if you had kids? Is THAT the only true requirement of life on Earth? To pro-create? What if the children that carry your blood forward do not care if you still breathe? What if all they know of you is your ability to be invisible to them? What if they are your best friends? What if they depend on you past the point of childhood? What will they say about you when asked? Is it too late to have great memories?

What if you DIDN'T have kids? Does that mean you LOSE at life? No legacy to carry on. No additional branches on the family tree. Is your affect on friends enough to make you comfortable with your existence? Are you comfortable enough TODAY be proud of a life well-led?

If not, then what will you do about it? Not later today, tomorrow, or next New Years. NOW. The one thing about decisions is that we mostly make them when we HAVE to. Planners do it in advance but they are a little weird right??? What do you regret today that you can unregret soon? What have you put off that can be done without more time going by? What do you wish you would have done that always got back-burnered?

If you ARE good with how you will leave this Earth tonight, then congratulations.... you win at life. If you aren't SURE, then ask a few close friends for their opinion. You may be surprised what they tell you...