STUART SCOTT

How many tears can be shed for a stranger? 

It is overwhelming to me, seeing the outpouring of emotions from the sportsworld yesterday. Everyone from the President of the United States, to yours truly was touched by the affect this guy had on such a wide audience.

Most times, when someone with a degree of notoriety passes, there is a nice tribute, involving people who knew them, a life is remembered, the moment is touching, but quickly forgotten.

Not so with Stu.

I applaud ESPN for allowing those closest to Stuart the freedom to express their thoughts fully. They allow us to see the depths of despair these folks are suffering. We may not KNOW each of these fine folks, yet we invite them into our lives so often. I can't help but get choked up every time I see co-workers of this unique man try and explain what it was like to know the person behind the “Boo Yeah!”.

It's obvious today, the world is a little bit less because Stuart Scott no longer breaths it's air, walks the ground, or entertains and inspires it's people and his children to be the best they can be.

We will miss you Stu, but we will always have the other side of the pillow....

GREATNESS

Have you ever thought about the things you are truly good at?

Most everyone has at least one thing they surpass being average. Some folks can seemingly talk to animals, knowing how to make them comfortable and happy. Some folks can fix things as easy as breathing, repairing and restoring just about anything, all the while, making you feel silly you couldn't. It SEEMED easy right?? Some people can understand computers like they were wired themselves. Nothing is too complicated or impossible to complete. Some can paint a picture where the rest of us have trouble with a straight line. Some have athletic gifts such as speed, agility or the sheer size to compete in a sport such as football, basketball or water polo. Some can even speak to people and inspire them to be more than they ever imagined.

Sometimes, we can make ourselves great through practice and passion. We spend thousands of hours getting it wrong until we can get it right consistently. Again and again and again, practice until you could do it blindfolded. That's one way.

And then there are the lucky ones. The people who can play a piano the first time they see it. Or the ones who can take a picture that looks like a postcard. Or those that can imitate someone you know so closely that you can hardly tell who is who. They just have the gift. They could hit a baseball no matter who threw it. They could cure your plumbing issues almost like they could see through the pipes. Lucky....

I don't know about you, but I had no such gifts. It seemed like everything came hard. Some things, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much practice I put in, I never got all that good. I loved to play tennis but I never was much of a competitive player. Playing pool? I stink but I still love it after playing hundreds of times. As much as I enjoyed cars, I never got to be a fine mechanic. Just didn't have it I guess. I'm not complaining though. The few things I DID get good at, I'm sure I appreciate it more.

Bowling was one of the few things I did better than average. Not only did I enjoy the competition, I liked the fact that most folks couldn't throw the ball like I could. I've had a couple of perfect games and averaged over 210 for a season in leagues years ago. Good times...

Being an insurance agent also seemed to be in my wheelhouse. It came easy and natural, once I put in the effort to learn what the heck I needed to do. While I give some credit to being successful on being a newly married man wanting to provide, most of the credit goes to seeing a small bit of glory and wanting more. For once in my life, I wasn't average.

It seemed like everything I did, I was VERY average. Grades in school, athletic ability, brain-power... average average average. I was tired of that label, even if I put it on myself. When you get a taste of winning or doing better than anyone, it's like dessert on an empty stomach. Heavenly....

I hope everyone would feel that way at least once in their life. Once to feel like king of the world. One time to feel like a champion. At least one time you feel untouchable. One time, at least.

What are YOU great at?

KARMA

I believe karma is real.

Not because I try and do the right thing and hope to see others doing the same. I think if I do something awful, really negative things will happen, even if I am not caught. It can help make decisions, deal with adversity, and be the reason some bad things happen to bad people.

If only we could direct Karma to strike back at certain deserving so-called human beings....

Maybe if we say “PLEASE”....

Karma....

PLEASE see the that the people responsible for the mortgage meltdown get EXACTLY what they earned.... PLEASE place the members of government who put their own interests before those that elected them to the front of the line, so they can reap what they sow.... PLEASE get face to face with those that treat animals like they are disposable and remind them just how miserable their life COULD or SHOULD be....

PLEASE pencil in those that care so much about money and profit that they forget being successful is not measured by how much they take but in how much they give back.... PLEASE bend over the people who rape our environment and let them know how it feels first hand to be violated.... PLEASE do your best to step in for those children who had the misfortune of being spawned by unqualified and undeserving Mothers and Fathers and enable restitution in any form....

The world is full of things that aren't fair. If you really think about it, the sheer volume of unfairlishness should prove that life is more about OVERCOMING it and not eliminating it. Go ahead. Make a list. You will see...

I know in my life, the balance of karma is always present. I might lose one battle but get “lucky” in the next. When I act like a knucklehead, I pay the price again and again – as I should.

I've been both the good guy and the evil twin. I've been a thief, a terrible friend, an awful boyfriend, a worse husband, a lousy employee, a problem child, AND I couldn't hit the curveball. Some might call it being a Gemini, but I'll give credit to being human. We are all capable of such great things and yet we same people are capable of horrific actions one could never forget. The struggle is easier when we take responsibility for the crap we have hanging around our neck and quit complaining about how unfair life is.

We generally get what we get because we did what we did.

When I was so deep in debt that I had to work three jobs just to tread water, who could I blame? The credit card companies for forcing me to spend money I didn't have? That sounds ridiculous, huh? It's like suing the tobacco companies for selling a product so many people obviously enjoy. Oh, that's right. We did that... oops.

I take the good with the not-so-good because that's the natural order of things. In the end, even if karma DOESN'T exist, life is happier when you don't dwell on the dark side or complain about things you DIDN'T do. Doing the right thing or making an effort to help others become a more positive version of themselves, brings it's own reward. One that cannot be measured in dollars or yen. One that won't be found with a treasure map. One that you will be proud of – a much improved, much more joyous reflection smiling back at you in the mirror....

What could be better than that?

ANOTHER FUNERAL, MORE QUESTIONS...

I attended a funeral yesterday. He was a classmate that I was not close to. In fact, I can't remember a single conversation I ever had with him or his twin brother (who passed away earlier). And yet I was still drawn to going to his service. He wasn't a stranger, yet I knew nothing of his life since high school. All I knew was, at 48, Donnie Leggore was far too young to be gone. I found out he had a daughter and grandchild. He lost his Mom. His older brother and his father were still alive and I can't imagine the pain THEY must be going through. I certainly felt the loss for the family of a nice guy who was simple, hard working, and laid back. I have no idea why I went. It posed more questions than answers.

Was his life successful?

How do you measure the worth of someone's existence?

Is it the number of people at the funeral?
Is it in the children left behind?
Is it the things we leave behind?
Is it the amount of money in the bank?

Death makes many people examine their lives. What they are happy about. What they are sad about. What they have fallen short of accomplishing. Mostly, it comes down to what they SHOULD have done or what they have failed saying to the newly deceased. Therein lies the biggest tragedy...

It all could be avoided so easily by just saying what you feel, not waiting for “the right time” to let that special person know how special they are. If there is something you have been putting off, do it NOW and have no regrets. Sounds easy, doesn't it?

While I don't seem to need an event to make me ponder my own life, this certainly does make me think of his family and how they dealt with the loss. It's a shame that these are one of the few times where families all come together. How sad if that's the case. Instead of finding excuses to NOT spend time, we should be thinking of reasons we do. I'm as guilty as anyone for letting my own solitary ways prevent me from knowing how my cousins are. What is going on in their life? Are they happy? How big of a shithead do they REALLY think I am?

I have no idea.

How does that make me feel?

I feel like my life is unsuccessful, honestly. As comfortable as I am with the idea of death and what lies ahead, I fall short of being the son, brother, cousin, nephew, and uncle I really want to be. Is it tragic for those that I ignore? Nope. They have no way of knowing if I would bring anything worthwhile to their already busy lives. I have obviously made choices that were probably more selfish than I want to admit. Easier, for sure.

I made an effort years ago to try and bring myself closer to those family members that I felt detached from. I told them how I felt, told them I loved them, and then I let them react. If nothing different came from them, I let it go. Looking back, I now know if it truly meant anything to me, I wouldn't keep score of who is contacting who this time. If people really mean anything, it shouldn't matter. You should accept that some folks are not good at keeping in touch or expressing themselves. I am promising myself to try harder.

I want to feel like I won when I am gone, not just content.

I will win when I have no one that is close to me feel like there were things left undone, unsaid, or unsatisfied. I already do that with strangers. Should be easy to do with those that care, huh?

Winning!

I am writing this BEFORE I actually check the numbers. I have felt for some time that the day to win the lottery was coming. I just didn't know it might be this soon....

There is a lot to consider before the actual “winning” occurs. Just ask Charlie Sheen. Preparations to make tax-wise, which type of payout is best, who do you want to tell, who do you want to help right away, and what will you do with the rest of your life are all things to ponder and act on when the time draws near. For me, I feel that time is now....

Luckily I don't have any tax problems from having too much money. (They picked the wrong numbers AGAIN!) Since I don't have too much money, there are no payouts options to consider. I won't have anything to tell anyone . There ARE people to help, however.....

There seems to be a piece that is missing in some folk's lives, preventing them from being all they can be to their community, their family, and most importantly, themselves. It is different things to different people, but the common theme is not money or property or how good they look in the mirror. It comes down to who they are as human beings. Many of us feel less-than-worthy or just plain invisible to anyone. We can't seem to make the right decisions or choices and that usually means we end up in heartbreak or just plain broke. Many of us have overcome early images that we did not like and grew beyond what we thought we could become. We must spread the word that this can be done, and done without paying $19.95, in three easy installments, shipping and handling not included.

EVERYONE can feel the joy that comes with self-confidence, self-esteem, or whatever “self” you want to add. Looking straight in our own eyes and seeing someone you can be proud of, someone who friends know they can count on, someone who doesn't first think, ME, ME, ME. Everyone can get there and cast a glow of joy on everyone around them. It isn't easy to STAY there, but once you have the directions, you can get back to it, no navigation needed.

It seems funny to think that, to be a better you, involves NOT thinking of you. Just consider it. What makes YOU, you? It isn't the person, it's what the person DOES. Think of anyone real quick and you will see what I mean...

Mother Theresa.... charity and love of all humanity
Barack Obama.... President of the United States, great speaker
Bill Cosby.... his work in comedy, on TV, and of course, Jell-O pudding pops
Donald Trump.... greed, self-promotion, bad hair...(maybe he wasn't a good example!)
Warren Buffet.... investor and adviser to Presidents, philanthropist, needs new truck

It's what we DO that makes us, so why not try and DO something that touches your heart and brings out the passion in your life?

It would appear that the greatest joy we have as human beings is in making people feel better, even if only for a moment. How will we go about this lofty goal? Are there words of encouragement that will spark a change in someone? I doubt it. Is there a pill to take that will wash away all doubt an individual has in himself? Nope. The only way I know is to talk to people, ask them about their life. What have they done? Where did they meet their spouse? What is their passion? What are they most proud of? Take an interest without having ulterior motives. It's an easy thing to do. People are so fascinating, if you just take the time to listen.

Sometimes we just need reminded how terrific we are. We take for granted the good things we do and torture ourselves for the mistakes that naturally happen to us as flawed human beings. To understand we WILL make bad decisions, we will turn left when we should turn right. We will have accidents along the way. The way successful folks handle these situations is simple – accept what they have done and LEARN from it. Pull a positive out of the cloud of shame we may feel. As long as we can do that, no error is too great that it should cripple us forever. We CAN grow as a human being, despite all that stands in our way!

The perfect scenario is that a person realizes on their own, they are ok. They don't need Dr Phil, Dr Oz, or Dr Doolittle. They see the good in themselves and also face the shortcomings AND WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! They can't understand why they suddenly see it but they do. There comes a moment of clarity. Grab it!

No matter which person WE are, we ALL can win.

You don't even need a number.