WHAT'S LEFT?

I posed a question to myself around the same time we lost Tom Petty. The inspiration came from a college student as I thought about their journey, and then thought of my own. 

"What is left to do in life?" 

Everyone has a different answer of course. For many, it is measured in raising kids, or vacation destinations, or buying an item on their bucket list. There is no incorrect answer, and none are the same for everybody. But what about ME? 

I've written about the absence of children, but will I consider myself a failure if I never find their Mother? No. Would my life have been better with them included? Of course, but that is somewhat out of my control. You are NOT guaranteed to finding a mate you want to spend forever with, and I won't have kids just to have kids. 

Travel? I have made it to a few countries, but many more are inviting and interesting. India, China, England, Italy, Australia, and a stack of others are on the list of must see destinations. If I don't go? No worries. Plenty to see in the USA. 

Buying anything special??? I got my truck, so I think I am satisfied there. 

Mom has to be mentioned in this. If she stays happy until she takes her last breath, then I can go, knowing I did right by her. 

As a matter of fact, I can go NOW and know I am a better person then I was as a young man. Better to others, better for myself, better for the environment. Just a better human being. It's comforting, and satisfying.

I found the key to my own happiness that frequently is lost on others. I no longer feel the crushing, disabling, and paralyzing sense of despair whenever something awful happens. Or even when a bout of the blues shows up. I recognize it, embrace it, and move on. What else should one do? 

What IS left on my own constantly changing bucket list? 

California! Driving on Route 1 from beginning to end will be like my own version of heaven. Seeing some sights, and enjoying the weather will be like the cherry on top though. Driving Dester is essential to the experience too...

Helping others has always been on the list. There is no reason to erase it. It may be only getting a smile from a stranger, but I hope to be a bright spot in anyone's day. 

Moving South. Yes, I want winter to be a distant memory! No more snow, no more frigid cold, no more salty roads. THAT sounds heavenly...

That may be the shortest bucket list ever! Maybe rename it a teacup list.... 

...subject to change of course....

ABOUT TIME

I watched a movie last night that was pretty darn good. It made me THINK, which is always nice, but I only recommend it if you like STORIES instead of just blowing things up and awesome special effects.

I went down to the local RedBox and got "About Time".

I have to admit to liking the idea of time travel, so this movie was an easy choice. It's English, so it is a little odd to us here in the States, but some of us can appreciate the differences.

The story is about this man whose family has a secret gift - the men can travel through time! This brings up a bunch of questions that the guy's father answers the best he can. What follows is a nice series of episodes that involve his returning to the past as a do-over. Imagine if you could just have a rehearsal to life! One run-though, and then the NEXT time would count... Hmmmm....

The obvious question that comes up is, what would YOU do if you could travel back through your lifetime? Would you change anything or just relive it as it unfolded? It's an interesting thought....

Most people would probably think of money first, but that's before you think of all the important things you could accomplish. People's lives could be enriched, pain could be lessened, and unimaginable numbers of ways to make the world a little better place to live. Memories can be experienced again, people who have passed can be treasured, great days can be appreciated, even more....

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?

THE GUILT AND THE.....

For the first time since I can't remember when, Mom is not around me or home alone. She went with one of her oldest friends and daughter to an event in the area. She didn't really want to go. She said a few times she wishes I would be along. ....sigh.....

Yup.... that's where the guilt comes from. 

Part of me wants the solitude. Part of me wants to just make her happy and go. Part of me wants to run away. Part of me wants to do something I wouldn't ordinarily do. No idea of exactly what that IS, but anyway... 

The largest part of me wants to spend it with a certain very special someone but they have deleted me from their life. That must be the part that just wants to just sit here and feel sorry for myself. Well.... 

THAT isn't going to happen. 

As empty as I feel inside, I WILL go and do SOMETHING I enjoy. 

It's amusing to think that I FINALLY have some time for whatever, and what I am doing at the moment is write about it. This is most definitely a sign of a lack of friends and sound mind. 

The cause of this situation is my asking Mom's friend if she could come over while I am going to see a movie that I know Mom wouldn't like. The friend has been in her life for over 50 years and has also had to deal with memory issues of her spouse for many years. I certainly don't want to take advantage of anyone, just to dump off Mom and go have fun on my own. They have certainly been through enough on their own to take any of MY issues with them. Another source of guilt... 

Yet, I realize that without my solitude occasionally, I become someone I don't like. Short tempered, selfish, and  impatient. These are NOT qualities to have with a person in Mom's condition. I try and have some time every day, even if only the hours after she goes to bed, that I can think of something other than her. So far it has been mostly successful in keeping away the demons. I recognize pretty quickly that those undesirable qualities have sprung up and I can whisk them away, for a while. 

I guess I better stop typing and just go.... maybe a motorcycle ride. maybe a ride in the truck. Maybe the young lady will be inspired to reach out and take my mind off any problems the world (or me) is in at the moment.... 

maybe.... 

FINDING TIME FOR ROMANCE

OK..... Let's get THIS out of the way immediately. this does NOT apply to MEEEEEE!!!!!!

I know this time of year is busy. I know your life is hectic. I know it seems a chore to meet new people. I know there are liars out there, seemingly all forming a line to meet YOU. You may be single or have the spouse/friend/dog or cat of your dreams but if you don't make time for two  (or more depending on your lifestyle!), the dream turns out differently. I'm not here to tell you what to do. We are all adults and make our own decisions, based on what is best for us. Yet, at times we forget to do what we KNOW is important.

I'm here to remind you....

If you are a regular reader here, you KNOW I have been in and out of romance for many years and have chatted about the journey many times. If you click on the label "Dating", you come up with [THIS], which hopefully helps. The only thing I will add is, if you ARE lonely more hours in the day than you are not, I'm suspecting there are ills that even Mr/Ms Perfect won't cure. If you are feeling that way and NOT trying to DO anything about it, then stand in front of a mirror - start talking to that unhappy soul looking back at you. They are the ONLY one that can help.

There are mountains of  time-management books, articles, and theories out there that I questioned why I should contribute. I have a nice relationship with the concepts of "busy" AND "lazy", so maybe what I think on the subject is worthwhile to someone. As usual, I am going to refer you to the obvious expert on you for this - YOU!  Most people know, deep-down, when they fall short. We may not want to admit the failure, even if it's a small one. That means we aren't perfect! Oh my....

When we need the touch of another, and yes we DO need it every now and then, what can you do? That depends on your morality and motivation of course. Some just act on it and they have no negative feelings about it. They could invite a stranger into their lives, even if it's very temporary, and get what they need. Unfortunately, like a drug, this is a treating a symptom that will return if not fully cured. There are some who are OK with that.

For the rest of us single folks, we need something more permanent to get the satisfaction we crave. I'm not talking sex here, as romance involves all of the senses, not just in the loins. The object SHOULD be to make the time and make your mind up to be available. It is harder for some than others, and they let it stand in the way of happiness. There really is no reason we can't meet more new people these days. You could narrow it down to a few avenues. Computer based and reality based.Websites are more and more accepted, but people still are a bit leery. They AREN'T needed, although it IS a way to go beyond the circle of friends you already have.    

Interestingly, single people aren't the only ones feeling left out of the passion department. Married folks. I think, have the same dilemma, but on a different scale. Although their spouse may be right there beside them, life certainly gets busier when kids, jobs, and homes get dropped into the equation. People get tired, cranky, and in general, crave "alone" time when they can't have it. You have a schedule and there are too many hours of to-do's than there are minutes in most days. Such is life in 2017....

Soooooo.... what to do????

I'm betting you already know....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

NICEST OLD WHITE GUY

When do you know you've crossed over to "old"??? For me, it may have been last week when I had a college student tell me I was the "nicest old guy he has met"..... 

Of course, me being me, I took that in various ways. First was the positive - I like being the nice guy. We don't ALWAYS finish last! We are a happy bunch and hopefully it rubs off on those that are less-than-jubilant. To have a stranger notice AND comment was very cool.

On the OTHER hand, being accused of "old" is not to be taken lightly. That word has so many meanings that I wasn't sure how to react. Initially, I laughed it off because as soon as they said it, they started to apologize. It was not needed. Compared to someone in the 13th grade, I AM old. Life has zoomed by at an increasing speed and I have tried to learn from every twist and tear. 

When I was his age, OLD was anyone over 40. It seemed they were mostly just bored, and WE weren't going to be THAT way EVER. Well..... Time has seen to it that NO ONE escapes it's influence. The days that turn to weeks that roll into months that stack into years that suddenly start to make DECADES, eventually affect all of us. Some less than others, but 100% incurable. 

There IS of course, a plus to aging. 

Wisdom. 

I LIKE being smarter than the dummy that was me at 20. I like the fact I learned to deal with my ups and bottomless falls into bluesiness. I like the idea of being comfortable enough to worry less about the way I look in the mirror and more about the way my mind functions in crisis. 

Getting older is NOT a death sentence. We get more comfortable with the notion of the hereafter, but not in a hurry to get there, We want to impact those younger folks, to hopefully open their eyes to things we didn't see till much later - when we prolly needed glasses to see! We still DREAM of a life well lived, the definition of which has changed many times over the years. 

Would I want to be 20 in today's reality? Nope. I lived in a good time. Elvis was still rockin, doors didn't have to be locked, and my daydreams were endless. 

I DO envy the youngsters that see the world as changeable and fixable. Society as a whole hasn't retained a positive vibe, yet these kids are wanting to have an impact, even so young. It's very cool.

So this old guy will continue to talk to strangers, if for no other reason than to let them know they matter and are part of my world. I will keep asking questions and I'm sure be surprised at some of the answers I get. 

....Because a nice old white guy can do nothing else.

HOLD ON A MINUTE......

Do you ever think about just how long (or short) a minute really is? When we say, “Hold on a minute” do we REALLY mean a minute or a bit longer?

It seems a minute is like a penny. We use it, but generally ignore it. Sometimes, perspective changes how we view and handle it. A minute waiting for a parking spot to open lasts a whole lot longer than if we have 60 seconds to snooze.

A minute in the NBA can be measured with an hourglass. If only it was fun to watch....

A minute late for work means you are still late.

A minute seems to take to pass slowly when the dentist is drilling a tooth.

A minute is enough time to score a touchdown from anywhere on the field.

The minute before you leave work has to be longer than the minute you dream about spending with a loved one that has passed.

It only took a half a minute to read this far down.

A minute at age 90 is not the same as a minute at age 9. If I live to my Pap's age, I have around 810,000 left.

Make that 809,999....

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