FRIENDS......AFTER

I was watching the Steve Wilkos Show the other day, and it made me think of a few things. One is Friendship.

I know it's been all of 3 days since I wrote about this topic, but it's is a different kind, with a different history. 

I'm thinking specifically of friendship after relationships. Or even dating. 

A little reminder of my past. I have dated. I have dated younger than me. I have dated older than me. I have dated same age and dated outside my race. Let's just say, I have been lucky to meet many extraordinary ladies, and even luckier to call a few of them friends to this day. 

Then I did the math. 

Holy cow. 

If I go by percentages, the number is low enough to make me question why. Why can't people stay friends after a failed romance? Why, if there was enough interesting about the other, wouldn't you want that person in your life? 

Maybe I am just a bit sensitive about this subject lately. 

As I go back memory lane, there have been opportunities to be forever friends. There have been people I WANTED to be forever more-than-friends. There have been some that wanted the same out of me. There are some that were content to get the free meal. 

The hard part of this examination was this - 5%.

5% is the number of real "friends" I maintained past a relationship. That seems like a very low amount. Super low. Really, Really, low. Right? 

I remember once upon a time, folks thought it was strange that my ex-wife and I were still speaking. Nothing awful broke us up. There was no violence or disrespect. Just two people who should have stayed friends. I couldn't imagine why, a person whom I enjoyed being around, enough to walk down the aisle, why would I NOT want to be able to keep her in my life? Turned out, she was concerned about how her new husband would react and closed the door on THAT. 

Ok.... maybe there would be some jealousy. Perhaps the chance there would be old flames rekindled might bother some. There might be some disappointment still festering from one or another. 

There is so much history that just gets tossed aside and forgotten and I think that is a shame. Who was to blame in my situations? 

Mostly me. Yeah.... no surprise there. Most of my struggles rest squarely on my shoulders. I was horrible before my 30's, been called a serial-dater (among other things) in my 30's, bearable in my 40's, and pretty good in my 50's, but who wants the old fat guy?? At this rate, I should be the perfect husband at around 77....Ugh.

To still be unmarried at this age, and with the ladies in my past that would have made wonderful wives, I can't imagine messing up worse than I've done. And cap it off by staying unfriendly with 95% of them is completely embarrassing in my mind. 

I thought I was a good guy. 

The ones I still know a bit about, made major upgrades after me. Their spouses are better for them in every respect. Their kids are amazing and their lives are rich and full. 

Maybe I should be rethinking this idea further...