Look close at any Robin Williams
routine, scene, or interview, and you won't see it. He was a HIGHLY
intelligent human being who seemed comfortable with who he was and
what he did, but you didn't see it. He had professional success
beyond most of his peers, and thoroughly enjoyed performing for
anyone, bringing a laugh to lighten the load of the daily grind, yet
you didn't see it. His life, by all appearances, was a dream come
true, but what you didn't see was the nightmare his alone-time must
have been. He could have been your closest friend or relative, and
you might not have had a clue that something was seriously wrong.
Depression.
It makes no sense to anyone who doesn't
suffer from it. Here's the hard fact – YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMETHING
LOGICAL WHEN THE SITUATION IS ILLOGICAL. There's nothing that makes
sense with this.
People think life has to be awful to be
feeling down and dark.
People think by telling someone they
are loved, it will cure it.
People think only the weak among us are
affected.
People think they should be able to see
the pain and suffering on a person's face.
People think they could have helped.
People think those that are depressed feel NO emotions.
Look at Robin and you will see the real
answers to these questions -
FALSE
FALSE
FALSE
FALSE
FALSE
FALSE
Someone's life can be everything you want it to
be for YOU, yet if that person is battling with depression, they have another
vision. There can be lots of love and affection, but if that person
doesn't see it, feel it, or want it, it's not relevant. Weakness of
mind or body doesn't qualify or disqualify you from having to cope
with it. You probably won't see the signs of depression in a lot of
people because it's hidden on purpose, cleverly disguised, and not
for anyone's eyes to see, especially if you are close to them. No one can help until the victim is able to
recognize their situation and want to find a way out. Not everyone
does, has the desire, or strength.
I am lucky. All I have to do is know
the funk is staring me in the face, and I have learned what needs
done to lighten the blow. I exercise a bit, mingle with folks a bit,
find ways to help someone or even just put a smile on a strangers
face. It sounds so simple, yet it can be very VERY hard to do.
Let me explain how life CAN be....
- You wake up and your first thought is, “damn... I have to live through another day.
- You are doing your favorite activity, yet your reaction is, “...sigh”.
- You KNOW if you do this or that, you will feel better, but you just can't bring yourself to do it. Don't confuse it with laziness, it's the paralysis of the affliction.
- You can appear happy in public, yet you almost look forward to the solitude of loneliness, wallowing in the misery that allows no hope.
- You can have moments when you think a real option is, to just take a long walk in the desert with no plans on returning. On a good day, you see this as a BAD option and move on. But not EVERY day.
Many of you will recognize what I'm
talking about. Many will just have confirmed, I am coo-coo.
The sad truth is, we are all so
different that there is no one cure for everyone. Some can take a
pill, some can go for a walk, some can talk their way through it, some never find it.
I think the one thing that is very
important is to be able to recognize your dark side. Everyone has a
side that balances out the joy we feel. The problems lie in those of
us who have that side occupy a larger portion of reality that others.
It can also be a benefit.
Huh?
Here's my take on it. The dark side is
the extreme version of hopelessness, yet it IS an emotion of extreme
power. It is ALSO balanced out by joy that is just as extreme. That
is how a talent like Robin Williams can spend his life entertaining,
acting out every emotion because, to him, it's easy. He had the tools
that come from these wild emotional extremes. Higher highs, lowers
lows. Life is about emotions and having more emotions means you will
live a more complicated life. It's like taking a windy road instead of a straight one
to the same destination.
I came to feel comfort in my feeling
down. Once it fully kicked in, I would spend an entire weekend letting the
emptiness, the bleak despair, envelope me. Solitary confinement was a
reward, my friend and companion.
BUT.....
I was able to fill the emptiness,
repair the despair, blot out the bleakness, and want the company of
other human beings. It was like changing clothes. I was lucky. I
could take off the jacket of hopelessness and put on my Hawaiian shirt
of happiness. I mean, who can feel down wearing something like THAT?
Medication didn't work for me. People's
affections didn't help. Talking to a professional didn't improve
anything. Nothing WORKS for me.
I found no cure. I found control. I
found a way for ME to deal. It never goes away fully. The clouds of
gloom and doom are always in sight. Tears are a moment away, waiting
to be exposed. Like I said, higher highs, lower lows.
If you are in the grips of the big “D”,
take it from many who struggle with the same thing.
If a pill helps, take the pill.
If a walk helps, take a walk.
If you know darkness leads to
destruction, stay in the light.
If talking to someone really helps, keep
talking.
The world is a better place with you in
it. You CAN contribute. You can HELP others that don't have your strength deal with this evil monster that cowers in the dark.
The world NEEDS flawed folks like us to
show them the limits of joy and sadness, because they have no idea
how happy or despondent they can be. Look around and know EVERYONE is
messed up, it's just a matter of degrees. Some are better than you,
some worse.
Once you find your happy place, you can
visit the darkness anytime you want or need to.
Even if it's only to cry.
It was really interesting how you put those point of views in perspective. I transport my self to certaint times in my life when i have to face really dificult situations and i got good results from it. I don't know if i was lucky because i have a great Family to sopport me, as well as big group of friends that are always there when you less espected, giving me the right advice or just conforting me
ReplyDeleteLuck
Life is becoming more easy for me once y face a big bump. Now i think that no mather what is in front of me there is always a way to overcome that particular situation. I became a beter person just by not hiding my feelings or emotions as well as giving my opinion with no hesitation. Sometimes it is not very well taken but later i got tanked.
Congratulations for the Hawaiian shirt. If makes you feel great wear it more often.
It was a pleasure for me to read your post today about Robin Williams. Some how we all face that demon at one point and sometimes the ones that looks stronger are really week. I know that first hand.