MARCH 8, 2018

Tomorrow is Mom's birthday. She will be 75 years young, yet she has no clue....

I've written a bit on her in the past few years, all of them under the label of "MOM" [here]. The change in her in that time is well documented there, as well as a project I wanted to do, but waited too long to finish - the interview on her life. 

What was interesting about asking her specific questions was that some of her answers were unexpected. Part ONE is [here] and part TWO [here]. I RECOMMEND it to anyone to do the same with your own relatives. 

Does any examination of the past help with dealing in the challenges of today? Not really. Those difficulties we have are minor compared to the stories I hear from other caretakers. There are some folks that endure a horrific existence with their loved one. I certainly don't. I can't imagine Mom feeling anger most hours of the day, or her imagining a conspiracy in her life that I cause. I can't begin to think how I would deal with bad health, a mountain of medication, or a bedridden condition. 

She is not the same person I knew growing up. She doesn't eat the same foods. She doesn't do the same activities. She doesn't have the same view of life. In a way, that might be why she is happier now than before. She has no spouse that makes her life miserable. She has no money pressures. She has no time clock to punch in every day. She has no chores to do. Plus, she has an entertainment committee (ME) to help keep her smiling and happy. 

Time is meaningless to her. That could be quite a gift. No deadlines, no expectations, just living in the NOW. It makes MY perspective change that's for sure. 

We didn't celebrate birthdays for quite a long time. The idea we discussed many years ago was, if that is the only day people get in touch with you, then there is no reason to make a big deal on that day. We tried to celebrate much more often than that. 

She has few recollections of the past. She doesn't bring up Germany much any more. She doesn't mention to me her only surviving sister any more. She doesn't recognize her house that she lived in for over 35 years or any of the others that we called home. 

The ease of living in a world so small and simple in indescribable. I won't say that the one thing I hated was routine, but it was. It is overlooked now because she finds joy so often now. Some of the joy IS routine. Some of the joy is that she doesn't remember my jokes no matter how many times I say them.

What does the future hold? 

No clue. Despite our advancements in medicine, this thing she has chipping away at her is mostly unknown. Each person has their own journey to follow. They may or may not have the "classic" symptoms, and they may or may not progress the same. That's another reason why every day is a day to reflect and enjoy. 

How can I complain about THAT? 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM.... from your only son, that you don't remember... the one who will never forget the sacrifices you made for me.