MOM AND COVID

 

Yup.... Mom caught Covid. From ME! 

I didn't even have a clue I had it, except for the body aches and sleepiness I had for a half a day. 

I tried to give Mom some nasal medication, since I felt a bit off, but clearly I didn't do enough or do it in time. She REALLY didn't take it well, but I hoped it would keep whatever I had away from her. No sense BOTH of us feeling blah. 

Nope. 

About a week after I had my aches, Mom slept late on a Saturday. This is not unusual, since she doesn't usually have anything planned, so I just let her get up when she wants to. By noon, she was still snoring. 2 pm she was still snoozing, with no issues. Around 5, I noticed her breathing was starting to get shallow. I'm no Dr, and I don't play one on TV, but I know if there are any changes in a basic body function like that, it's time to get it checked. Since she didn't want to eat anything, and she couldn't walk on her own, it made it easy to load her up and take her to the ER. 

This all happened on May 21st. 

I expected to be able to take her home that night, but that idea got squashed when the first of the test results came in - she had Covid.  

The pandemic had been going on for over a year at this point. Mom and I had plowed through it like we did most things, by being a little careful but not terrified. I had followed the crisis since the very beginning, and knew there were MANY untruths being told. Since so few in the media and government couldn't be trusted, the decision to vaccinate was easy. No way, no how. 

Mom and I loaded up on Vitamin D and the basics, hoping the added supplements would help fight off any virus. We had stayed busy, took a cross country trip for a month, and in general, just lived our normal life during the chaos. No issues and no worries. 

It worked well, right up to this day in May. 

Then, the Dr taking care of Mom had to ask some tough questions. If she stopped breathing, did I want them to use any means to revive her? My mind could not process this right away. The thought of Mom not coming back home - ever - didn't compute. The Dr continued that most folks Mom's age didn't make it and that I should prepare for the worst. 

Now, I am NOT naive. I know Mom won't live forever. Maybe not even more than a few years. The preparation for that day hadn't started yet. I just kept thinking that a week before, Mom and I had attended a car show and walked for at least a half-hour with no issues. No, this wasn't going to be a story of sadness and despair. This was going to be a happy and victorious time that made me appreciate every day more than I did. 

She stayed in the ER that night and the apartment felt sooooo empty. I haven't had more than a few hours apart from Mom in years, like over SEVEN years! This was clearly odd and I couldn't enjoy the break at all. 

What I THOUGHT was going to be a quick trip for her turned into almost a week in the ER. During this time, I visited and hoped for a quick recovery. They said she had pneumonia in one lung and stayed on oxygen to help with her breathing. It was interesting that when she was admitted, she had a temperature of 101, but was 98 in a day. She didn't seem to mind the opportunity to sleep, and did so most of the days. Her eating was sporadic, which was a concern since she was only 90 pounds dripping wet. Probably the biggest change was just getting her hydrated. She has ALWAYS been difficult to drink enough, no matter what I tried, so just having an IV of fluids helped her color and skin. She looked better almost immediately. 

Almost a week later, they transferred her to a private room. Since she was a "covid" patient, she was in isolation, despite no lingering symptoms of the virus. What lingered was the cough and breathing issues. She seemed to improve every day, except for her loss of strength that kept her from being able to walk at all. I figured she would be back on her feet in no time. 

One of my disappointments was in her eating. The staff couldn't seem to find the time to have her eat much of any meal. Once I saw that she ate EVERYTHING for me, although it took a while, I knew she would be ok. Which made it very odd when I got a call from one of her Dr's that asked if I was coming to visit. I told them I visited every day. He said I should make it soon, since she might not survive the night.... WHAT????? 

That day was miserable. I finished the route Mom always rides along, all the while I'm trying to imagine my life without her. Preparations to make, my future work, the sense of loss already, it all made for a LOUSY time. I expected the worst when I finally got to the hospital, but she was all smiles and in a great mood when I arrived. I was both relieved and annoyed that a diagnosis was so wrong. 

The next few days saw her still improving but still not walking. She ate well for me, sometimes she ate well for the staff, but the general trend was her getting better every day. This was GREAT news, but after almost three weeks, they wanted to transfer her to a rehab facility. I got mixed feelings about a new staff and new location, but when I was told it would be less than 5 minutes from the house, I was all in! 

June 10th was the big day, and I would like to say it went well. The transfer was late, and Mom missed dinner. What a GREAT value the $900 it cost for transport. Not. The facility staff did what they could and I saw real compassion for Mom, which is all we can ask for. It gave me a glimpse on how Mom would be treated , and it made me feel better at their concern. It wasn't their fault that she arrived three hours later than planned, but the days that followed would be mostly positive and made me comfortable knowing Mom was in good hands. 

We still had eating issues from some staff, despite my success on Mom finishing most of her meals with me. It was GREAT to see so many people actually caring and enjoying Mom being a patient. I was happy to go in every chance I got to not only spend time with Mom, but see and chat with those kind folks. 

You never know the difficulties of caring for the elderly until you experience it first hand. The angels who work in healthcare do their best to make everyone happy and healthy. Some patients are mean, some are loud, some are confused, but all get attention. The only issue that seems a common one was having enough staff to do all the work. Writing this in September (now October!), being away since the middle of July, I have to admit I miss seeing their smiling faces every day...

The weeks went by quickly. At first it was very strange to ride around without Mom. I am in such a routine, it took quite a while until it became the new normal. I looked forward to Mom going with me again, and the memories of her "last days" faded. It WAS a reminder that SOMEDAY, hopefully in the distant future, this all will occur. A day that will surely scar me and leave an empty space in my heart. Forever. 

But it's not today. As I organize my thoughts on this adventure, I am proud of Mom not giving up, She tried hard, every time we attempted to walk. The first few steps were just a hint of what was to come. Three steps turned into ten which turned into 25. The rehab folks were so limited by what they can or can't do, so I felt my role wasn't just "feeder" for Mom, so I added "physical therapist" to my title and gave myself a 100% raise! 

I loved when the first time Mom walked the entire hall and patient's jaws dropped. They couldn't believe Mom made such dramatic progress. I knew once we were able to walk ALL the halls in a single session, our time there was coming to an end. Even though we had trouble with steps, which are a challenge since we have a few at our apartment, improvement came slowly, but once we succeeded in conquering the "mountain" on the exercise room, I was ready to bring her home. 

July 15th was discharge day, which worked out since I could do our route and then pick her up afterward. Unfortunately, she picked this day to try and get out of her wheelchair, and fell. It was hard enough to affect her walking. She regressed to a few weeks prior, but I took her home anyway. I knew we could work on it together at home and she would be better than ever. 

If only... 

After 21 days in the hospital, going from BAD possibilities to hope for recovery, and a further 35 days in rehabilitation, I would have expected Mom to be back to Pre-Covid abilities. Not so. 

Mom used to be able to walk pretty easily for a half hour. Now, she can barely go for 15. On a GOOD day. She lost weight for sure.  The last time we measured, Mom was only 85 pounds, yet her appetite is still good. Better than ever. She is still happy, waking up with a smile every day. She sleeps through the night with no issues. I can admit that this journey is one of the easier versions I've heard of. I always feel fortunate, even on the days when my patience is gone. 

I made the statement to folks taking care of Mom, that it's been almost 7 years that she has been with me. I'm NOT ready for it to be over. I will GLADLY sign up for ANOTHER 7, without hesitation. 

She has earned it. 

She deserves it.